Expectancy or Expectations

Well, you know I've told you that I'm reading this book titled, "The Shack". I find it extremely interesting and thought-provoking. The other day, I was reading a passage and it struck me. It had to do with expectancy and expectations. In a dialogue between two of the MAIN characters, it was stated, "Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value."

The author went on to write, "The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the desired result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations."

This particular chapter went on to deal with the difference between expectancy and expectations. With expectancy it's different. For instance, in a friendship there would be an expectancy that exists. When two people see each other or are apart, there is an expectancy of being together, laughing, talking, etc. That expectancy, the author says, has no concrete definition. Issues arise when we have expectations we put on others. Suddenly the dynamics of the relationship change. People are now expected to perform in a way that meets the expectations of others.

I have been thinking about this a lot. It has caused me to re-examine my thinking on my interactions with others. I am now leaning heavily towards the expectancy way, rather than expectations because I see what it has done to relationships I might have or had. I see how I allowed, through my own expectations, relationships to be stopped. Now, I know there might be some that need to be stopped, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the ones that are really designed to last. I saw how I became disappointed, angered, hurt, etc., because I had expectations of others. When I started to think of my interaction with them as one of expectancy, I'm doing a whole lot better. Now, when I see them, I have an expactancy to be happy seeing them, laugh, talk, pray, sing, or whatever with them, rather than them having to be a certain way towards me. This is really helping me, even if it's not helping anyone else.

Some relationships I was just tired of because of the way I perceived others act were redefined and now I am free and that feels good. I realize I had myself bound up in the relationships and had my own expectations on them that no one else was following. They were rules I had set up for them to follow to satisfy me and might not have told the other person about them. What an exhilariting feeling!!! It's so good to be free of that.

How do you look at relationships? Do you have expectations or an expectancy?

On this Memorial Day Weekend, please remember those who have and are fighting for us and have given even their own lives so we can be where we are at this time.

I'm grateful for being set free in my thinking regarding relationships. I am grateful for all our fallen and living soldiers who have given unselfishly of themselves for me. I am grateful for family and friends. I am grateful for this rather quiet, relaxing day. I am grateful for another day of having full use of my limbs and all my senses being in tact. I'm grateful for all the blessings of the day from the Lord. I am so grateful that I have Jesus in my life. I am grateful for quiettime.

Here He Comes in the Nick of Time

Today, I was having a pity party that I was able to mask in front of friends. I really felt very sorry for me. There are things going on in my life that are upsetting at this particular point in time.

In reading the book, "The Shack" (you all really must read it so we can talk), the author reminds us (just as the Bible always has) that we have to really believe that God is who God says He is and we really do have to throw out man's way of thinking when it comes to God. Man's representation of God is somewhat distorted. We have made God look like us, rather than the other way around (I digress).

As I am learning to re-train my brain and recognize God for being God, I remembered what the passage in the book said and it brought me around. Then, I went on with my daily chores, accomplishing much, only to discover that He is STILL here with me and STILL looking out after me. In the nick of time, He showed Himself in the midst of what was going on.

He allowed me to even take time out to cry one of those real good hard cries. This cry was for joy and seeing Him and His help manifested in my life. I don't know how or what He does it; He just does because that's just what God does. The relief I felt had to strongly suppress a scream that I wanted to let out. The thought of the Lord taking time to help me messes with my mind. I know He said He would but I'm still blown away by Him.

Life is wonderful, no matter what the day brings. Life is wonderful because of Who He is. This is one relationship that I want to work on to grow deeper and close in. This is the one I know will last.

I'm so grateful for a loving God. I'm so grateful that I am not alone in my struggles. I'm grateful that I need only to call on Him and He will let me know He is with me. I'm grateful for all of today's blessings. I'm grateful for friends who REALLY love me and that I REALLY love closely. I'm grateful for sunshine and air conditioning. I grateful for work.

My Mom and Giving Thanks

If she had lived, on June 24th my mother would have been 90 years old. She did not make it physically to 90 but she continues to live in my heart and thoughts.

When I was growing up, I thought there were days when Mama was the meanest woman God had ever created. She spanked me when I did something wrong, she made me do my homework until it was correct, she grounded me when my grades were below HER expectations (even though I always had a GOOD explanation for the ones I received), she had in imposed curfew that NEVER bent, she saw to it that I had what I needed but not always what I wanted, she told me I was not going to waste food she worked so hard to get (even though I felt my daddy had contributed to the food budget so that didn't count). Those days were the ones in which I had the "silent scream" going on inside me and I just wanted to change parents (at least moms) for that short while. Like most children, I saw absolutely no good reason for her to do or say what she was doing or saying. Afterall, I was just trying to be a child, not an adult!!

Well, she, like most moms, was correct. All those lectures, instructions on living a correct life, growing up good, etc., paid off. Now, I actually miss hearing her say any of them to me. I MISS MY MOM! Sometimes, I will look up in church or at the store and see a woman going by me who looks very similar to my mom or could almost be a "dead ringer" (pardon the pun) for her. I will watch these ladies walk or smile or their hand gestures and see some of Mama's in them. Even their hair will be salt and pepper like Mama's and worn exactly the way she wore hers. I used to wonder if this was God's way of sending her back down here and letting me see her but I know now that's not true. But, I do see "her" in others.

I also see some of her traits in me. I laugh like I remember hearing her laugh. I sit on my cough the way I used to see her sit on her. I have hand gestures like hers. Sometimes, I even cough like her. I guess she's just in me and I thank God for that.

I was not the greatest mom (just ask my children). There are many things I am sorry for that they did not get from me but I'm grateful for all that the Lord blessed me to give them. I learned through raising my own children that a child really does NOT know the heartache of a mother. The child really does not know the number of days or times a mother cries for her children. A child really does not know the sacrifices of a mother - UNTIL THEY BECOME A PARENT!! Reality has set in for me. Fortunately, it set in before my mother died and my heart was overwhelmed when that reality hit. I got to see all the blood, sweat and tears she had over me. I was soooooooooooooooo grateful and overwhelmed when that reality set in. My one regret is that I never told her, "Thank You" and now it is too late.

Lord, this day I'm so grateful for the mother YOU gave me. I'm grateful for all the life lessons she taught me and walked me through. I'm grateful for all the things she did for me, whether I know about them or not. I'm grateful for the sacrifices she made just for me. I'm grateful for the times she called me and needed me to do something for her. I'm grateful for her wanting to cook me my favorite Thanksgiving meal (the last one she would have) when I visited her in Indiana. She was ill but did not say a thing to me about it. Her desire was to cook all that food for me. She wanted me to take some of it home with me but there was no way I was going to be able to take it on the plane. I pray she really did understand and have hurt feelings behind that. Sometimes I want to just kick myself for not taking some of it but it's now too late.

Don't let this Mother's Day go by without saying, "Thank You" to your mother. If you are a parent, you KNOW she deserves it!! Don't let it be too late for you. Celebrate you mom this Mother's Day!! Happy Mother's Day to all you fabulous moms!

Sometimes You Have to Do It All By Yourself

On Sunday, my pastor preached a sermon entitled, "Sometimes You Have to Do It All By Yourself." The title alone is powerful and thought-provoking.

As he was preaching, I thought about the number of times I have had to go it alone. In the Scripture reading that went with the message (II Samuel 23:8-12) he mentioned the three men noted in the passage and the circumstances each encountered and how they found themself fighting the enemy alone. Yet, at the end of the reading of each of the three men in David's army, the Scripture said the Lord brought about a victory.

When I have had to go it alone in life, I, like you, have taken note of how hard it was, how sometimes I was so tired of being in the fight that I was worn out and had thought of quitting. But, I'm still here and I see that the Lord brought about a victory.

Sometimes our family and friends might run out on us but we're not alone. Sometimes we run out of strength but then we get a "second wind". Isn't life great? Just think of getting that "second wind", that victory. What a blessing. This means that this is another thing to be grateful for.

I'm grateful for battles won, always have the Lord with me, having a great relaxing day, accomplishing most of the things I set out to accomplish, developing plans for accomplishing other things I need to get done, family and friends, all the blessings of the Lord, emails that made me laugh, my quitetime this morning, my senses that are working properly. Thank You, Lord.

New Day, New Opportunities to Refocus and Be Grateful

I'm so grateful for a new day because this new day brings opportunities to refocus on those things that are positive and can help to change me mentally, spiritually and emotionally. It's so easy to get caught up on what might be going in a direction other than the one I would like. However, I am trying my best to continue to think on those things that are positive, those things for which I'm grateful.

I do believe my thinking can change my outcomes and bring about change. It's not an easy thing to do but I keep at the task so I can reap rewards.

I am not trying to fool myself or anyone else. Yes, these times are tough but they do not have to dictate the way everything will always be in our lives. Yes, prayer, much prayer, coupled with faith, does help. I feel within myself that things are going to get better for us.

This new day offers us the opportunity to be grateful not only for those things we had yesterday and before but to be grateful for what we are enjoying now. Each day gives us new things for which to be grateful. I would challenge you to see what new things you are grateful today that you were not grateful for yesterday. Each day there should be an effort to being grateful for new things (not forgetting those old things). We are offered so much each day. There is no certain number of grateful items on our list, just list them. This is a part of re-focusing our thoughts to look at the new things in life that we are given.

In my being granted a new day and opportunities to refocus, today, I'm grateful for traveling grace, laughter with friends, completed projects, food to eat, understanding loved ones, things that are not stopped because of others, opportunities that are offered for tomorrow to learn from and grow, trials and tribulations, ability to return home after working out of the house, the quietness of my home, opportunities to reorganize my home.

Have you started your list? What did you come up with? I wish you a day full of new opportunities and new things for which to be grateful.

Do I Need or Want It?

Nowadays with this economy, I have had to take a painful look (and it still hurts) at my needs versus my wants. I want to move into a larger place. I want a new car. I want.....Having to look at my life is good. I realize that there is selfishness, sometimes greed and often just pure enjoyment.

However, I have also re-evaluated the needs. I am looking at any adjustments that can be made anywhere in my life, also another painful task at times. I have come to realize that if I woud just stop procrastinating and organize a few things, I will be better off.

I have set a goal, for instance, to organize my bedroom. I have set that goal many times and have yet to complete it; however, this week, I want to begin taking the first stabs at it. So, I'll start with the closet and throw out things not needed, used or wanted. Once I take that first step, I'll feel better and probably continue tackling the job. I can then move on after that.

I believe that since I have not organized one thing yet that I cannot think properly or like I want to so this adds some pressure or reasoning to doing the organization. Wish me well.

I also need to read more, look at television a whole lot less (I find that sometimes I feel depressed after looking at the news) and maybe just spending some more quiettime with myself and God. I have a lot of words I have been saying to Him and probably would do well to just sit and be quiet and hear Him. So, since I feel to "out of whack", I'm going to do that.

Needs versus wants. It is something we all probably need to think about.

A Day of Observance

Today is just going to be a relazing and observing day. This morning, I went to the store early to try to beat the rush of the crowd since this is Spring Break for a lot of schools. As I left my apartment, I noticed the beauty of the day. I actually think I spelled flowers (or something blooming). The birds were singing, as they always do because they do not have a care in this world). The sun is shining, as it does almost everyday in Arizona. The streets seemed unusually quiet as I was driving although there were a lot of cars on the road.

This is Spring Break. This means I am taking a BREAK from a lot of things. All the other weeks I am rushing around doing many things in a day that I never thought I would do and often lose track of what I really want to do. So, I'm taking a break today. I won't even cook. I will just warm something up to eat.

One of my concerns is that my home needs reorganization (cleaned out). I believe that once I organize even my bedroom, I will be able to think clearer. That's because it has been on my mind to organize it for over a year and I often feel like there is just too much "stuff" in the bedroom to think clearly (that's where I do a lot of thinking and working). So, my ONE goal for this week is to organize my bedroom, even if it takes me all week. But today, I RELAX!!

What needs to be organized in your life? Is it a room? Is it a relationship? What? Make an attempt to get organized. You do not have to do it all in one day. Take some time to do it. Enjoy what you're doing. Remember, if you have not used it in six months, get rid of it (or them) - hahaha!

Have a Christ-centered day.

Be a Miracle

Recently, I heard someone say, "If you want a miracle, be a miracle." In this time of loss of jobs, money, homes, stability we once knew, etc., I have often said we need a miracle now. So, when I heard this phrase, I applied it to myself.

Do I need a miracle now? Of course I do. Do I know how to be a miracle? Of course I don't. This has caused me to do a lot of thinking on this thing of being a miracle. How can I be a miracle? Can I be a miracle to someone else by doing something from my heart for them? Can I be a miracle by saying something special to someone? What do I need to do to be a miracle?

Helping someone else without expecting something back can often be a miracle for others. This week, my neighbor who was laid off, asked me if he could use my wireless connection so he could look for work online because his cable was out and he did not have money yet to re-connect it. He said it would be reconnected by the end of the week. After about fifteen seconds, I agreed to let him use it. If I were out of work, I know he would try to help me in any way he could. This is what we are supposed to do in this economy and days of "hard to swallow" things that occur. It is something that I, as a Christian, am to do in following the example left by Christ - help others. There is joy in helping others. It helps lift your own spirits to know that even when you do not have much to give, giving something to help others makes you feel so much better.

So, I got my miracle. I had such a great feeling (not an arrogant one) on the inside in being able to do just a small thing for someone else. My miracle was happiness. I realized that I was thinking in the wrong way. Miracles come in all forms and most times are not found in material or monetary things. Miracles are found in your heart. I'm so grateful that I found this answer.

What miracle do you need? Better yet, what miracle can you be?

Another Great Birthday

Well, on February 5th, I was fortunate enough to add another year to my age. What a great blessing. I am not sure why people want to deny their age but to me it is something to be celebrated. The celebration is not just for one day but should go on for a few days (we deserve it).

I found that in celebrating my birthday I am celebrating life and focusing on something that is positive. It is important to think on those good things in life and not dwell on what we might not think is good. This is just one more thing to add to my list of blessing (an increase in the number of years). When I tried to list all of those blessings, I found I just couldn't list them all because there are more than I can even account for and that's just fine with me.

With this new age, I have embraced it. I find that I do more thinking as I get older. I do more observing than talking. I do more quiet time than in the crowd time. I have done more laughing than crying (although crying is still okay to do). I am so happy with this life. I would not trade it with anyone else.

How do you feel about aging? Do you embrace it or want to run from it (even though you can not escape it)? Let's celebrate life. Let's enjoy each day, even if there are some bumps in the road. I know who created the road so I'm not worried!!!

Looking at What We Do Have

I have been thinking a lot about focusing on the blessings, rather than thinking or worrying about what I do not have. So, I decided to just start being thankful and calling out that which I do have. I was just looking around and speaking and then it got to be that I was calling out things which could not be seen, necessarily.

In my list were those things that were so small, so irrelevant to most people yet large to me. I have the ability to do so many things. I can breathe, walk, blink, move,think, hum a tune in my head, see with both eyes, remember things from my childhood that bring me happiness at the thought of them, care about others, do something to help someone else, teach others so they can increase their knowledge and grow, offer my assistance to others, laugh and make my heart happy and so on and so on. I was absolutely amazed when I started thinking of all the things I could think of. Sometimes the thoughts were coming to me so quickly that it was scary yet fun.

So, try it. Think of what you do have. Do not allow your mind to list anything other than what you do have. See what you come up with.

I found that I had so many things that whatever was missing was not missed. Somehow I just know things are going to work out. What a great feeling!!!

New Year, New Opportunities

Happy New Year! What a tremendous blessing to have been privileged to enter 2009. I am so grateful to have made it to another year. I see opportunities. I see dreams coming true. I see improvements in my personal and professional life. I see good.

The old cliches of putting the past year behind us and starting over don't seem to ring with me. The reason is that there are, in fact, some things that do follow us into the new year. However, it is my prayer and hope that we will be better equipped to deal with them and will have a better handle over those things.

My relationship with God and my family are of the utmost importance to me. A strained relationship is beginning to be healed and I'm grateful for that. So, I consider this year as beginning out on a high note.

I want to make this year count in my life. I want it to be positively significant. I hope yours will be also. Have a great year!!

Knowing Exactly What To Do

I have been struggling lately to know exactly what I really am supposed to do in this lifetime before I leave this earth. There are many things I have been doing, some of which I was actually called to do, and others that I have been doing. I have been blessed to have a heart for many things. I have been blessed to be in the right place at the right time many times. However, I know that deep within me, that there is something else that I am supposed to either be doing now or do soon.

It is something that is important. This time, I want to get it right. I do not want to go off a feeling. I want to go off pure knowledge. I have taken this time out for blogging to use as some type of journaling time to hope to release those other things that are on my mind to it can be freed up to hear whatever I am supposed to hear. Quietness is beautiful. I do not know what I am to do but I know that it is wonderful, whatever it is. I know that I am excited about doing it and I feel equipped or almost totally equipped to do it. I know that it will bring joy and happiness. That makes me very happy. As I get older, things are really being put into their proper prerpective. As I get older, I see why my grandparents seem to be more relaxed. I know now that they had things in their proper perspectives. That's clarity. That's another thing I desire.

When I discover what it is, I will tell you. I will blog immediately about it (after I give thanks). So, soon I hope to be sharing something GOOD!!!!

Peaceful Days

I know that if you have lived long enough, you have also felt those days when all you want to do is just sit back or lie dow and exhale one of the biggest breaths you have ever taken. Then, it would be quiettime. I am at that point now.

Helping myself to understand how to properly manage those types of days has taken me a while to be able to do but I think I have finally mastered it. I found it got to the point of reprioritizing my life. I found I really do have to put myself first some of the time. Others cannot occupy that spot all the time.

When I sit down and get quiet, my mind is able to just relax. Things become very clear when I do that, even my schedule. I see it clearly and I can then move things in and out or around. When I do that, I feel so good. I have that issue also with my home. Sometimes I feel like I have made it a clutter and just need to take the time to get it in order.

Taking a look at my priorities is a big thing to me at this age. A lot of things that would ordinarily bother or concern others do not even affect me now.It's not important to me to have designer apparell on my anywhere. It's not important that I own leather, silk, or any of the other expensive fabrics, etc. Life is not about that. I have always said that if I become ill and cannot work or feed myself, not one designer is going to come to my rescue. So, why should I spend my money making them very comfortable while I work hard each day and have to watch how my money is spent. Well................that's just my thought. I am not saying anything against anyone enjoys spending their own money on designer anything. Go for it.

It's just that I have come to realize what is really important in life and I'm sticking with that. I really do enjoy looking at the sky. I really do like cloudy days and rain. I really do like seeing the sunrise and sunset. I really do like the colors of falls leaves (very much) and flowers growing. When I become frazzled, I take in these things. They don't cost anything and can be retained in my memory for many, many years. I'm glad to have straightened out those priorities. What about you?

Take Care of Yourself

It is so good to be back on the blog. It's been a few days. I want to tell you about my experience over the past weekend.

I attended a conference in Atlanta, Georgia, where the conference centered around cardiovascular disease. At the conference, it was driven home again and again that we need to take care of ourselves. Although the conference was aimed at African Americans, the information can and is applied to everyone.

It is so important to take care of yourself. Everyday you are able to wake up, get up and do things on your own is definitely a blessing. There is a renered drive to get people to pay attention to food labels and learn how to properly read them and apply them to our eating habits. Also, exercising is being stressed more and more. I believe that in these trying times, we all need to do something to help ourselves out. We need to do something to relieve stress and we have to be careful that we do not find ourselves eating into happiness.

Why not make a decision to do just one thing this week that is different and helps your health. Eat some baked chicken, rather than fried. You know the routine so I don't have to put it down here (smile).

I wish each of you good eating and good health.

Unselfish Joy

Usually when we are happy about accomplishments it is regarding ourselves. Sometimes we have joy in the accomplishments of others but we REALLY enjoy something that pertains to self. Well, this week, two people in my life have made me so proud and happy and full of joy for them.

My friend was accepted to Seminary. This is a much prayed for achievement. Many prayers went up for this and any and all barriers, concerns, doubts, indecisions, etc., were removed. He was accepted and actually was accepted into more than was somewhat anticipated. There was one part of this Seminary that it was not clear or was unsure but he was fully accepted. Abundant blessings, Michael, are placed on you. WHAT A DAY OF REJOICING!!!!

Then, today I received an email from my neice who is a scientist. Her second article (dealing with brain tissue, etc.) was published. What a magnificent accomplishment. Way to go, Kim!!! I'm so proud of her for all her hard work and accomplishments. I guess playing with mice can eventually lead to a publication that informs the world of something newly discovered. I'm so proud!!!

Whether it's my friend or my neice, I have such un-SELF-ish joy today. I'm so happy for them and proud of them.

Continued blessing to both of you. You're both FANTASTIC people!!

Hold On Tightly

I'm sure hoping you had a blessed week. I certainly did.

Do you realize that we are still here to fulfill our mission in this life? Wow!!! What an awesome activity in life - a mission that has been given us to fulfill. Some people are still trying to figure out what that mission might be, while others are basking in the glow of fulfillment.

I truly believe that we are here until our mission is complete. I do not believe we leave this earth one minute before we are supposed to go. Some missions are short, others take a while. Not knowing when the mission is complete is reason enough for me to hold on tightly.

I have a friend who has breast cancer. Those are such ugly words to us. I saw her Friday and was about to tell her how wonderful she is looking (she really is) and she told me that her doctor informed her of another cancerous area in her lymph nodes. I just wanted to fall down! But, I looked at her face and although she said she felt good but just wanted to feel sappy (or something to that effect) I realized that she was holding on tightly to life. She is such an encouragement to me. I admire her strength as a woman and an administrator. She has knowledge that surpasses the best of them, yet she is very humble about who she is, where she comes from and what she has accomplished. How in the world could this have happened to her? She walks around all the time with a smile on her face, trying to make everyone else feel good. She does not complain.

I see her hold on tightly to her children and the joy they bring her. I see her holding on tightly to the work assigned to her and doing it when she might not feel like doing it. I see her setting up conferences for others at a time when she might just want to take a minute out for herself. I see her holding on tightly because it is somehow bringing her joy.

She makes me want to hold on tightly to all that is precious in this life. She makes me want to hold on tightly when it gets rough during the day and night. She makes me want to hold on tightly when it seems that I am all alone, that no one cares whether I feel good or bad. She makes me want to hold on tightly when the sun shines and when it does not. She makes me want to hold on tightly when I fell like I just cannot get up out of the bed.

Thank you, Sue, for blessing me to see where I need to grown and hold on tightly. Thank you, Sue, for being in my life and fulfilling one of your missions that deals with me. Thank you, Sue, for just being yourself and appreciating everyday and every opportunity. Thank you for not keeping yourself a secret. Thank you for leading by example and showing me how to hold on tightly.

As the song says, "You're simply the best. Better than all the rest". I love you, my friend.

Did You Celebrate?

Well, how did you do? Did you celebrate? Did you wake up in a celebratory mode the following day? I did and it was great. All day long, I celebrated the good things. If a negative thought tried to enter my head, I would not allow it. It was sooooooooooooooo good!

I attended training to be a hospice volunteer three days last week (24 hours). It was fantastic. This training taught me so much more than I ever knew or thought I knew. Hospice was never an area in which I wanted to work. I always said it took a certain group of special people to be able to work anywhere in the hospice arena. If anyone would have told me that I would want to be a hospice volunteer, I would have said they were crazy. Now, I'm sorry I waited so long.

During this training, towards the end of the last day, our guest presenter who works with the bereavement portion of hospice, had each of us do an exercise. She gave us a small envelop which contained twenty strips of paper, four different colors and each color group had five strips of paper to it. She had us indicate on one color, the five most important material things we have or own. Next, we had to, on a different color, list the five most enjoyable things we do. Then, in another group, we listed the five most important people in our lives, followed by the five things we know for sure in life. Then, we had to take three cleansing breaths. The lights were turned down low and she put on a very slow, relaxing CD and played it while she talked with us. We had to close our eyes as she talked and we allowed to open them only when she told us to.

She took us on a journey of life's end for us. In her statements, she told us that we had discovered a lump on our leg, went to the doctor, had it biopsied and were called back to the doctor's office to talik with the doctor. Of course, this was all done in a much slower, methodical fashion than I am describing here. At intervals, she, our presenter, would tell us when we had to open our eyes and make our selection to remove strips we had written on and how many. She never told us the pile from which we had to make an selections; that was strictly up to us, but we had to make selections. During this journey, we were not given a long period of time to think about what we would throw away; we just had to get it done because she was continuing, just like life. Sometimes we would throw out one, two or three pieces of paper. This was beginning to be harder each time. This exercise was to teach us what it is like for someone who has been placed into hospice and their life is getting closer to ending. There were times when I had discussions with myself and was somewhat confused on what to discard because, afterall, she had told us to write down what was important to us and now she was making me discard some of them. The feelings were overwhelming. Some people in the class cried, some did not. But all of us felt the frustration and some of us remembered loved ones who had died and now felt what they must have been feeling.

This exercise taught me to continue celebrating each and every moment I have in life. I am going to reprioritize things in my life. I going to be learning how to let go of some things (and maybe some people) that I should not be holding onto.

I think everyone ought to be able to go through this exercise in a private setting. To do it online on this blog would take away so much of what is needed. However, I believe we can all do some re-thinking about our lives because the day might come when this will not be an exercise from a class but real life.

At the end of this exercise, we all would up with five strips of paper left. I was amazed when I looked down and all those sheets were gone because I had to get rid of some things quickly. I had a lump in my whole body as I looked at them. Then, I moved my eyes to the right and saw the five strips I had left. My strips left were my faith in God and four people who are the most important to me: my sister, my best friend and my two granddaughters. I promise to continue to celebrate having them in my life everyday. I am so grateful that I know a loving God Who takes care of me and loves me unconditionally. I will celebrate my faith in Him daily.

What would you put on your twenty strips of paper? What would you discard, if you had to get rid of one, two or three strips quickly? What or who would you keep? Remember to celebrate that which is precious to you because you never know when it will either not be around or have to be discarded. CELEBRATE!!

Celebrating All That is Good

To say that when I look around, I'm blessed is like a cliche' that is sometimes overstated. However, in these trying times, I can truly say that when I look around, I'm blessed. I have decided, today, to celebate all those blessings, rather than ask for anything or complain. What a blessing it is to have been able to see just one more day in my life. What a blessing it is to have been able to bathe myself, comb my hair, walk, talk, think, feed myself and see all day long. Though these may seem like such trivial things to celebrate, I am often reminded of the alternatives.

After years of working in hospitals in the ICUs and see how life can change in an instant, I have known the value of celebrating the appreciation of all that is good! Life still has things we would like to be better or changed but the fact remains that if we are awake now, we need to celebrate that good thing! We certainly did not have to be allowed to see one more day. I know I certainly did not have to be allowed to be able to bathe myself.

Celebrating means that happiness is invovled. Celebrating means that smiles are part of the way appreciation is displayed. Celebrating can be done individually or with others. Today, I choose to be somewhat selfish and celebate alone (you can actually join in with your own celebation). I am so excited to be alive. I'm so excited to be able to have witnessed another day in my life. I am amazed that I have been allowed, by the Lord, to live this long. He did not have to give me these year, but He did and I celebate that. What a powerful, precious gift. How good it is. Celebrate life; celebrate its goodness. Don't dwell on what is missing, out of order, misplaced, broken or gone. Just celebrate what is good for you today. Just celebrate that your good outweighs everything else. Celebrate that you are able, in your mind, recount what is good and celebrate it. What more could you ask for? What more could I ask for? There is absolutely nothing else that could be done that would top the fact that I made it through this day, am still here and still celebrating.

Fill your mind with this positive way of thinking for the rest of your day. Celebrate good things. Only focus on the blessings you are enjoying right now. When you lay down to sleep, before dozing off, remember ALL the good and CELEBRATE IT!

And, most of all, if you are blessed to wake up tomorrow, CELEBRATE ANOTHER GOOD THING!

I pray celebration for you. I pray your thoughts will focus on the God Who is granting these things for you to celebrate. I pray for the most peaceful sleep you have every enjoyed tonight. I pray for another day for you. I pray that your first thought when you wake up tomorrow will be that you have another reason to celebrate. One more good thing has been granted to you - LIFE!!!!

Can You Fix It?

A friend who lives in Chicago and I were just talking on the telephone. We talk with each other about every two weeks. Usually I call him to check and see how he is feeling and then other times, he will call me if he knows he is in trouble for not calling me back to let me know how he is doing.

During our conversation, we were both saying how our respective health is doing. His eye has been giving him problems, my weight, due to medicine I take, has been bothering me. We both concluded that these are things we will have to accept. He told me his eye will not improve but his vision has not been impacted. In fact, he believes his vision is better. I told him my doctor told me that since I'm taking the medicine I'm taking, my weight will be up and down. I told him that I have come to accept that fact since I cannot change it. He told me he accepts what is going on with his eye because he cannot change that either.

There are some things in life, as you know, that we just cannot fix. We can try to make changes that we hope will affect the outcome but sometimes, that will not even help.

As I get older, I am noticing some changes. Often, change is good. I accept what does change and is good as well as I accept what I cannot change. I have decided that it is more important to enjoy my life. I have made some promises to myself to help me through my days.

I promise to love myself unconditionally.
I promise to take better care of my health.
I promise to always allow quiettime for me each day.
I promise that I will say positive things to myself, even if no one else does.
I promise that I will be true to myself.
I promise that I will not allow anyone to define who I am or what they want me to be.
I promise to be happy within me.
I promise that I will always show up as me and will sometimes show up as the new and improved me.
I promise to work hard and not slack off work.
I promise to always reach for what I dream of doing.
I promise to work towards my goals
I promise to see myself achieving my goals
I promise to always be sure I let others know that I care about them.
I promise to not worry about what I do not have but be excited about what I do have.
I promise to grow daily mentally, emotionally, relationally.
I promise not to worry about the financial happenings of the world but to accept that some things are what they are.
I promise to learn something new everyday.
I promise to be excited about life!

What have you promised yourself? What are you doing to make this life better for you? What are you doing about your happiness? Do you really have to work that hard? Are you chasing the money or are you enjoying life? Things will happen in this life but if you take a moment and have some tea in the afternoon and think only of yourself, you will find that inner peace that dwells within seeking to be able to come out and help you as you go through your days. Let's all try to make more promises to ourselves and take care of self. After all, you only have ONE SELF! God bless you today.

Enjoy Yourself, Respect Others

This past week, I spent many hours watching a basketball camp that was put on by the Harlem Globetrotters. This camp had over 300 children in it, some in the morning sessions and some in the afternoon session.

My original intent was just to sit in for a couple minutes and then leave but while I was there, what I saw and heard held my attention for the entire week. I was there almost as much as the children attending and I did not mind one bit.

This camp was not intended to be a wild, loosely run camp. It was designed to be a camp that helped all the children who attended to be better people by the end of the camp and equipped with what they needed to continue being successful (or start being successful) in life. It was designed to teach them how to get along with other and to, of course, learn new or better skills about the game of basketball. The playing of basketball was secondary; learning how to enjoy yourself and respect others was first.

Everyday while in their initial circle, the first thing they had to say were the two rules of the camp, "Enjoy yourself and respect others." They spent time talking about them and repeating it everyday so the vision of the camp would be clearly understood and practiced. All week long, I saw this. Of course, there were times when some of the kids did not do what they were told but there were consequence either just for them or the entire camp. The consequence to be "suffered" would be ten to twenty pushups or laps back and forth in the gym. This would soon drive that particular point home and they would rejoin their teammates and continue playing as though nothing had happened.

I watched them as they enjoyed themselves. Each child worked very hard to do what they were told. The one thing that stuck out in my mind was how they persevered but smiled at the end of any particular physicial activity or learning session. They were truly enjoying themselves, even though some parts caused them to struggle. They were sore but came back on the next day and the next day and the next day and completed the entire week in the camp. They had to be patient and wait for others in front of them to do what was required and they had to forget any of their problems and encourage their teammate.

"How do I go through life?", I asked myself. Am I enjoying myself? Am I encouraging others in spite of what might be happening in my life? Am I showing others the respect that is due to them? Watching the children (ages 6 through 16) gave me reason to pause in this day of job layoffs, staff reassignments, high gas prices, higher food prices, more bills than money to pay them. It was hard for some of the youth to do some things required. It was difficult to put one leg over the other, bend over and count and then reverse that. However, they kept trying, they kept doing it and by the end of the week found they could bend more and reach farther than at the beginning. In their continuing to try to go through this portion of life, they found if they just kept trying and enjoyed themselves, while respecting and helping each other, they came out a winner because they were able to focus on something and someone other than themselves.

Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I respect others? Most of the time. Is that good enough? No. This needs to be what happens everyday in my life. Is it possible to do? Yes. It is very possible to enjoy yourself daily. All you have to do is realize that if you are reading this blog or breathing or walking or eating, driving, shopping, talking, you are enjoying yourself. Whenever you speak to someone you encounter, you are respecting others. When you help someone else or sacrifice for others, you are respecting them.

Another question I asked myself was, "Did I take this week to help mask other things that are going on in my life? Did I use this time to ignore things that needed to be addressed? The answer is "YES". Some days, I, like you, have to deal with things that make me want to holler. Many days I have the "silent scream" going on inside me. There are times that I just wish I could fade away from problems and situations. So to crowd out those things that are unpleasant, I occupy myself with other things temporarily. This includes things like watching the basketball camp for one week when I know I need to be working hard on other things. Now that I know that is not possible, I have decided to try to live each day like it is my last day and ENJOY MYSELF AND RESPECT OTHERS!

The children reminded me of a valuable lesson my parent instilled in me. When it is going to stretch me more than I want to be stretched, when I have to keep going because others are encouraging and counting on me, when I ache so much from the pain but I can not complain, I have to keep going and I have to enjoy myself. I have to tell myself to enjoy it because that is is a motivator. Having fun is a great motivator to help people persevere. Showing others that I care about them and have respect for them as people is a great motivator for them. There is a double blessing in enjoying yourself and respecting others.

I want to thank the Globetrotter coaches, Coach Buckets, Coach Wildkat, and Coach Moo Moo (because he likes to drink milk). I want to thank them for not only what they did for the attendees of the camp but all of the adults who sat on the side and watch were able to be blessed with the "circle talks". I want to thank the coaches for being so respectful of the children and caring so much to spend and entire week doing two sessions a day. Thank you, Coaches, for reminding me that I need to enjoy myself and respect others.