I HAVE WHAT?????????????????

Monday, March 31, 2014, was a difficult day. I was told by my primary doctor that I have lymphoma. What????? Cancer??? Me??? Of course, I broke down after the phone call and cried all day long. 

Immediately the wrong thought entered my head. I thought, "I have to make funeral arrangements." WRONG THOUGHT!!! 

On Sunday, the day before, I had just been impacted by my Pastor's sermon series entitled, Get Ready for "Our 40 Day Savior-Satan Showdown." Sunday's message was titled, "When Our Battles Become Personal and Painful, It's Purposeful Preparation." This was a WORD for me. The scripture came from Luke 22:31-38 (NLT). He told us that we must realize that our battles will get personal and painful. we are on satan's hit list to be tested for our trueness to Jesus Christ. Also, we are permitted to be on satan's hit lie and prayed for by Jesus Christ. we are being purposefully prepared for empowering our brothers and sisters in the faith.

His second point was that we often protest in denial that we will never personally and painfully fail our trueness to Jesus Christ. We emotionally promise to be true to Jesus Christ in spite of our battles being personal and painful. we have had it prophesied to us by Jesus Christ that we will fail our trueness tests. we never fail our trueness tests on purpose.

Point three was that we have been forewarned by Jesus Christ that our circumstances are changing for the worse. we are inspired and encouraged by how Jesus Christ has provided for us in the past. "But now" we must heed Jesus Christ's warning that our circumstances are changing for the worse - more hardship, more hostility, more hunted down. We, unlike Simon Peter an Jesus Christ's other disciples, must get it that the weapons of our enemies will not work for us.

"That's enough," he said.

So, what's enough when our battles become personal and painful, even though it's purposeful preparation? Jesus Christ's PRESENCE, Jesus Christ's PRAYERS, Jesus Christ's PROPHECIES, Jesus Christ's PURPOSE, Jesus Christ's PROMISE, Jesus Christ's PROVISIONS, Jesus Christ's POWER!!!

Today, April 1st, I reviewed this message early in the morning. When I got up, I decided this is NOT a day of crying. This is a day of preparation of my mind for hearing my oncologist tomorrow at 11:45 am. It's a day to pray. It's a day to inform friends so they will pray. It's a day of rejoicing and giving thanks and being grateful.

Grateful - that word sometimes has made me a little frightened because I would always say I was grateful to God when I would wake up and my mother was still alive. It would say I was grateful when I would wake up and my sister would still be alive and I say it because I'm still alive. But, that words doesn't scare me anymore. Grateful is what we're supposed to be. It's how God wants us to view all He is and has done for us. So, I'm grateful. God is so good to me.

When the enemy has tried to plant more of his thoughts in my ear, I have stood on the power given to me by Christ Jesus to REBUKE him, in the name of Jesus!!! No room for those thoughts today. And, today is all I will be concerned about because the Word of God tells me not to worry about tomorrow. 

I just needed to write and be grateful.