While I was doing my quiet time this morning, I was actually being quiet when the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I had asked for forgiveness regarding the times when I have not done what I should have done, gone where I should not have gone, and thought or spoke what I should or should not have spoken or thought.
When it was okay for me to speak again, I asked the Lord why I keep doing this. I asked for His help in finding out why I find so often that this comes up. The Lord, in His most gracious way, showed me what has been happening with and to me lately. Just in looking honestly at that, the word "hoarder" came to mind.
I have seen the show, "Hoarders" and have been disgusted at the way these people keep their homes. There is hardly any room in which to breathe in them. Walking is difficult at best; things are hidden, never to be found, trash is piled up on top of trash and the stench must be overwhelming. Many things that should have been tossed years ago are still hanging around.
Then, I thought of my life. I started looking at what I've been keeping in my mind and heart. What have I piled on top of stuff that should have been tossed years ago? What have I allowed to remain that is unclean without even rinsing it off or washing it? What thoughts have been thrown in the corner of my mind that should have been taken out with all the other garbage? What worries are in my mind? Am I worried about money, people or things? What relationships need to be removed? Why am I too busy to spend time with the Lord like I so desperately need to do? Am I consumed with thoughts about the opinion of others towards me? Who do I have to accommodate today which would require ignoring the Lord or myself for? What television show am I worried about being home in time to watch? How many times have I passed my Bible only to notice it and not read it? How many lines to how many songs do I have memorized? How many scriptures do I have memorized and why is it so hard to remember those scriptures?
Perhaps the difficulty in memorizing scriptures lies in the fact that I've hoarded all this other stuff in my mind and heart and there is not sufficient room for the Lord and His Word. This goes beyond "shame on me." It's disrespectful, ungrateful and needs to be changed immediately. What television show is more important that God's Word? What thought that others have matters more than the thoughts God has towards me? Why does time matter to me when it's God who owns time? Why am I worried about money when He owns it all (everything belongs to Him).
It's time to clean out the cluttering mess that has been allowed to pile up in my heart and mind. It's time to throw out any and everything that keeps me from focusing on the One and Only True God. It's time to cut any sentimental feelings I have towards any person, place or thing that interferes with my relationship with God. Just as the "hoarding" was a process, removing everything is a process. I "hoarded" alone but will be cleaning up with the Holy Spirit. That way, I know it will not become a "hot mess" again. There are some things, admittedly, I probably will try to argue that I need to hang on to for some strange reason but I know the Holy Spirit will show me why it needs to go out.
I am looking forward to this cleaning and cleansing process. I'm looking forward to seeing the "extreme makeover" that will be done on me by the Holy Spirit. I'm looking forward to drawing closer to the Lord by removing all the obstacles that get in the way.
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