Adele's Blog

How Do I Say, "Thanks"?

2011-11-23T17:24:00.000-08:00

What would be the proper way to say, "Thank you" to people who are special in your life? How do you let them know how special they are to you? Words aren't sufficient. Gifts would be inappropriate. But, I need them to know they're special to me and have blessed my life.

People don't have to be in your life for twenty, forty or fifty years to be special and important, accepted as family. You don't even have to see them everyday to love them. You just do. That's what my friend Ceecee and her family have come to mean to me. I haven't known them long, don't have to, to be able to love them like I do. One common event brought us together, the death of our spouses. This alone, can almost "take you out" trying to get through each day without the one you loved. It's a hard thing to have to come to grips with the fact they are gone and you have to go on without them and you have to figure out things all by yourself.

Days hurt us. Nights hurt even more. Being around others is not necessarily a pleasant thing for us but we keep going. When I try to encourage her, she blesses me. I had been praying these heavy days would become lighter and lighter for her and still do.

A recent health-related event has brought us closer. Her son was diagnosed with a health challenge that could have taken his life. However, the Lord had other plans and I'm so thankful. I was concerned that had her son not pulled through this, it could have been very devastating to her and her other children and family members. But, God is able and He blessed her son to make it through a huge hurdle in his life.

I thank my friend for allowing me to be there and do my ministry the Lord gave to me. It's the Ministry of Presence. What a blessing to do this ministry. Nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, just being present. I thank God for this ministry that only He could have given me. I'm a helper by nature, having worked in the healthcare field for many years, especially in the Intensive Care Areas. I have seen the sufferings of so many families and have been able to be a part of the team that helped their family members. If one works in the ICUs long enough, this can take a toll on a person like me. So, to do the Ministry of Presence is a special blessing to me. I am not working on the family members anymore but am able to understand and often explain what is happening to loved ones.

So, I hope in some small way I have been able to be a contribution and help to my friend. I hope in some small way, my presence has helped. I hope in some small way, her load has seemed lighter just because I was available. I hope in some small way God has been pleased. See, we don't always have to be doing something to help others. Sometimes, just being present speaks volumes, particularly when there might already be so many others around.

So, on this Thanksgiving Eve, I thank God for ALL His blessings and the fact that in some small way, I am able to say, "Thanks" to my friend, Ceecee, for allowing me to do my Ministry of Presence and be so blessed by her. I love you, Ceecee.

Please Forgive Me, Lord

2011-03-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in my office now listening to songs I have selected as my "Favorites" on YouTube. One song in particular is now playing. It is, "Change" by Tramaine Hawkins.

I am taking personal inventory of my life and relationships. A lot of things have happened to me in recent months. There were months when I was not working and had almost no income. Of course, this economy has hit just about everyone lately in one way or the other. In observing others who have or are going through adversity now, one thing I have noticed is that people are just open and honest with what is happening. No longer are people ashamed of what is happening to them because it's happening to a lot of people of all economic levels. So, to admit openly that one has lost a job, home, car, can't pay bills, etc., is not something that everyone is keeping to themselves. This does not mean that everyone is going around hollering out the issues they are having. It just means that people are no longer ashamed to admit, even to themselves, that they, too, have been hit.

This is something that I'm learning. It has been rough and there have been days when I might have preferred to just give up on everything and everyone but something always held me back from doing that. It was the Holy Spirit, Who always let me know He was with me. In my mind and in my thoughts, I have had to admit some things that I had never admitted before. I had to admit that there are some mistakes that I made that put me in this position. There are some things that occurred over which I had no control that also contributed to this situation. Admittance is not easy, especially to oneself. This, I would imagine, is something like n addict might go through (admitting there is a problem). This learning to admit some things to myself is actually helping me to grow. It is helping me to see some areas that need serious changing in my life. I'm grateful for them because I really do not want to ever be in this position again and will do what I can to be sure of that, with the Holy Spirit's help.

But, the biggest thing I'm getting out of all this is that God's Holy Spirit really is still with me throughout all this. He is still with me, even when I don't feel He is there. I had to examine that also and discovered that when I do not feel Him, it's because of something else that is attributed to me - I have not kept up my relationship end. I have not been as faithful to my quiet time, my reading of the Word, my prayer time. So, as I look at the entire situation, I see that I have been the biggest problem. Then, I ask God to clean up what I have messed up.

The Lord has always told me that He is always here for me. He has told me over and over that He can always be reached. He has assured me that He knows what He is doing and everything I'm going through is for my own good. I have not always believed that (another problem I have). Lord, will I ever get this right?

I pray for forgiveness of my sins, my wrongdoings, my mistakes, my lack of seriousness on the part of my relationship with the Lord and any other mistakes I have committed knowingly or unknowingly. This is a real eye-opener for me. I have learned not to put too much care, worship, hold, whatever you want to call it, on material things. They are here today and gone tomorrow, sometimes. I have gone through the thinking of how I have to "do what I have to do" to take care of myself. I have not always left that to the Lord. That's due to my poor relationship development, not the Lord's fault.

I'm also learning that not all friends are real friends. Real friends are hard to come by. There were days when I thought, "If I could just talk to someone about what I'm going through...". The Lord would also tell me He is here to listen to me but I often ignored Him. Then, when I would make a call to a human (I felt I needed to hear a human voice), the Lord would ALWAYS show me why He told me not to call any human but to just call on Him. This is not to diminish the good deeds done by anyone who did anything good for me. I love and appreciate them for what they did and they know who they are. Thank you so much. I even have learned to be appreciative when "No" was the answer. We don't always get our way in all things.

Thank You, Lord, for this valley experience. Thank You, Lord, for days when everything did not go my way. Thank You, Lord, for those days when I wanted to give up but You changed my mind. Thank You, Lord, for the good things that would happen on some of the "bad days". Thank You, Lord, for ways you made when it seemed too dark. Thank You, Lord, for the joy I have down deep in my heart that You would draw out of me and cause me to begin praising You in the midst of these storms. Thank You, Lord, for all the blessings (of all sizes) that You have given me. Thank You, Lord, for even allowing me to have those crying days. Thank You for drying up all my tears. Thank You for restoring my faith. Thank You for changing my heart and mind. Thank You for opening my spiritual eyes and heart. Thank You for allowing me to remain here. All of my good days do FAR OUTWEIGH my bad days. Only You could see me through this and still love me unconditionally. Only You would not pass judgment on me. Only You would not turn Your back on me. I love and praise You, Lord. To You be all glory and honor.

I know there is a tremendous testimony coming out of this. Whether it is a testimony that is heard by anyone else, it's heard by me and I will gladly repeat it to me over and over again. "Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God, believe also in Me...."

New Year

2011-01-04T10:12:00.000-08:00

Good Morning. Well, it's the saying we're all hearing now, "It's a new year, now what?"

I've been giving this a lot of thought. I have thought about all the things that I had to bring over into this new year from last year. I've thought about new things I wish would happen this year. I've thought about things I hope WON'T happen this year (lol). But, then I realize that the year is comprised of all of these things. It wouldn't be a year or day or month without them. So, I'm learning to change my thinking about my circumstances. I do ask God to give me strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I am looking forward to growing more this year.

Change is good and growth is better, at least for me. I don't want to keep repeating the same mistakes; I want to learn from my mistakes and grow thereby. This means there are some resources I will need. I used to think I could make it on my own, that I knew what all I needed to do but I have found that to NOT be true. So, I am making my way to and through those helpful resources.

The first and main resourse is the Bible. Now, that's where I can get the BEST instruction of all. That's where I can be reassured. That's where I can get the courage I really need to go a step further, and another step and another step. This is the place I know I can go and the advice is not built on human assumption. This is the real place to go to for my help. After that, prayer is the next step. It won't be enough for me to read and study the Bible without praying over what I read and studied and asking for wisdom in applying what I read. I know I need help every step of the way through lifes journeys. Then, I'm able to consult some persons who have other wisdom that has been presented to me.

In my Sunday School Class a few weeks ago, the teacher made this statement, "Pick a book, any book." At first, I didn't know what he was talking about but he clarified it by saying, "Pick any book in the Bible and make it your favorite book because this is where you can go and always find help, comfort, instruction, etc., to fit your situation." So, I'm studying Ephesians. I've also picked favorite scriptures. They are Psalm 100 and Psalm 103. These will be my daily scriptures. Of course, all the books in the Bible offer whatever we need to get through this life so Ephesians might become one of my favorite books.

As I sit in my office and type this, I am so longing to study and pray over this business God has blessed me to operate. I do not claim this as my own but His and I'm the vessel He's using to bless others. So, it's time for me to close this session and read and pray so I can get my encouragement for this day. He's already blessed me with life, health and strength and shown favor in a situation. I do know that I still need Him in all my life so I need to go to the throne.

I pray you have a God-blessed day.

It Really is Important and It's MyJob to Tell You!

2010-11-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

Knowing CPR, this possible life-saving technique, is as important as knowing how to tie your shoes. We were taught to keep our shoes ties so we would not trip, fall and hurt ourselves (prevention). Well, knowing CPR is to be thought of in the same light.

CPR can and does save lives. Knowing how to do it properly saves lives. CPR has not been thought of as something that was urgently needed until it's too late. Often, family members die because they needed to have CPR performed but no one around knew how to do it.

Well, that can end!! Good news!!! I can teach you in four hours!!! Learning CPR and fully understanding what it is about is exciting. It's so educational when we understand the when, where, how, why and who of things. That's exactly what I'll teach you in my classes.

We have classes available for health care professionals and non-health care professionals. That means we have classes for EVERYONE!! Some of our clients include, but are not limited to: Boy Scouts, teachers, bus drivers, babysitters, administrators, personal trainers, concerned family members, day care center personnel, health care personnel, construction workers, just to name a few.

We know that our technique for learning CPR (American Heart Association certified) will ensure that when called upon to perform it, students will recall what was learned in class. You will leave the class knowing the importance of knowing CPR because it really is important. We provide a nice, clean, relaxed atmosphere for learning.

Give us a call today at 480.233.4289 to get signed up for a class or check out the schedule at touchingheartswithcpr.com.

Fearing Fear

2010-07-07T21:51:00.001-07:00

Have you ever been afraid of fear? Has it ever taken over your thoughts to the point that that's all you think about? Power is given to fear when we constantly think about it. Sometimes, something can happen in our life that causes us to fear because we do not see the end of a circumstance.

Fear can lead to so many things. I was recently confronted with something that caused me a great deal of fear. In accepting this fear, I became depressed because I allowed the spirit of fear to speak to me. This fear was so overwhelming that I did not have a desire, at times, to even pray or seek the Lord in the matter. I realized the extent to which the fear had captured me and felt helpless all because the spirit of fear told me that I was helpless. Even though I know scriptures that would defeat this, I had allowed fear to occupy my being. This was a dangerous place in which to be and it wanted me to stay there. I knew that I was stressing, worrying, losing my victory and maintaining my sense of fear.

Even in the midst of accepting this state of fear, I could always hear the Holy Spirit saying something to me to remind me that I am more than a conqueror but I wasn't believing it because I was looking at the circumstance. I wondered if I would ever overcome thiis fear. I cried out to the Lord, told Him my back was up against the wall and that I needed Him. At first, I felt nothing. But, I knew down deep inside that God had not created me to be defeated by anything.

No weapon formed against me shall prosper is a scripture that I kept hearing in my ear and mind. I realized that I had to get to the point where I believed that Word again. I had to focus on God, not the circumstance. Although this is so elementary to most of us, there are times when, if allowed, fear can get us to forget what we have always known about the Lord and discount His ability to bring us through situations. I even remembered all the situations that He has brought me through recently that were far more serious and harmful than this current one but fear kept messing with my mind.

Thanks be to God for victory. Viictory came to me through hearing the Word preached. Victory came to me through encouraging words of a friend, a faithful, true friend. God is able. God knows my situations. God DOES LOVE ME. God remembers me at all times and is with me in the valley as well as on the mountaintop.

I am determined to reset my mind. I will dwell on the postive things that will happen to me. I will attract those positive thoughts and not allow the negative to get a foothold on my mind. I will look to the Lord for my deliverance. I thank Him now for victory; victory in the Lord God Almighty.

Some Things Are Changing

2010-05-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have noticed changes. I have noticed that parts of me are taking on a different shape. Thank You, Lord. I have noticed that it takes longer to get from one spot to another. Thank You, Lord. I have noticed that it takes some things longer to heal than before. Thank You, Lord. I have noticed that thinking has changed more to the future than ever before. Thank You, Lord.

In all this, I have to admit that sometimes fear comes over me. At other times, sadness comes over me. And, then, JOY comes over me. I am still trying to figure out all that the JOY includes. Now, to me, JOY is loving the Lord and worshipping Him. JOY is knowing Who I serve. JOY is knowing that I am His and that will never change. But, there is more to it than that and I don't know what that is. I do know this - that the Lord, through His Holy Spirit, will let me know.

It's hard to believe that I have made it to be 63 years old. Whew!!! I'm grateful. I enjoy and embarce it. I am not ashamed of it and appreciate each day that I have of it. Don't get me wrong, I have days when I wonder why my JOY is not where it ought to be but I know this is a trick of the enemy. In all my struggles, I am aware of the presence of God. Sometimes, it seems to me that He is far away, another trick fo the enemy. But, He always steps in to remind me that He is here. I have wondered if this happens to others my age who notice things changing in their lives.

I know that anything I have, anything I have done, anything that will come to me in my life is not because of something I have done on my own. I know from where my help comes. So, I take the changes I am noticing with great appreciation and ask God to continue to show me other changes. I ask the Holy Spirit to continue to be with me throughout all my days.

The biggest change I am asking of God is our relationship. I am praying for it to grow beyond anywhere I would have ever believed. I am looking to God for this change. I am anticipating a relationship unlike any I have ever known.

Lord, You know my heart. You know why the tears fall just at the thought of You. You know how I cherish our time together. You know my struggles, changes, ups and downs. You know just Who I need. I know Who I need and that is You. Loving You, Lord, is easy. Thank You for loving me because I cannot imagine that is easy to to but then again, You're God.

Let's Be Real

2010-04-10T20:41:00.000-07:00

As I get more settled into my new apartment, I have time to sit and think and ponder. One of the things I am pondering is why we change our view about certain subjects depending on who it is affecting. For instance, if it's wrong for "Susie" to do something (and we, as humans talk about Susie like she has the plague), then when "Carol" does the same thing we don't seem to have anything negative to say. Yet, the two women did the same thing!!

It appears to me that people are not real. Some people are seeking something from others and that affects how they respond to certain events. If someone is trying to gain something, be more recognized or possibly appear to be a closer friend, there will not be any negative words said aloud to anyone. This is PURE PHONEYNESS (sp). I'm trying to figure out why people can't be for real.

Yet, I don't want to dwell on unreal people. I really am trying hard (it's not always easy) to focus on positive things and be around positive people (again, not always possible). But, I keep trying. As I get older (thank You, Lord), I do realize more and more that it's not what people say or do that matters, it's what the Lord says and does. I am spending my time doing my best to get and stay focused on the Lord. The things that used to excite me, don't anymore. Peace, love, joy, stability, harmony, connection (with the Lord), happiness, contentment, appreciation are some of the states of emotions that I am now looking forward to, appreciating and loving. God be praised for this.

I used to look at the happiness of others and say I with I had that. Now, they can look at the happiness I have and say the same. In other words, I'm not looking at others and wanting what they have. I have it with the Lord and I'm enjoying it. I appreciate the Lord working on me, helping me grow, leading me and blessing me. Looking at others, just like the blog started out, caused me to get confused, messed up and jacked up. I finally got tired of being that way. I'm a work-in-progress but I'm His work.

Counting It All Joy

2010-03-05T11:33:00.000-08:00

To be able to look at life and count it all joy is a huge blessing. Although there are days that might not be as great as others, we have been able to make it through.

Lately, I have had some health challenges that have, quite frankly, scared me to my bones. I have found that I dropped my faith and started relying on and looking at people, rather than God. I completely forgot the Holy Spirit, Who keeps me, comforts me and guides me. My throughts were completely on me and how I was going to make it not only through the challenge but life. I found I was worrying about how I was going to deal with things. I completely left God out of the issue.

In my devotion time, I have been challenged with the question of, "What are you doing with the Holy Spirit?" This has come up before and must still be an issue if it is coming up again. This question causes one to pause and take a serious look at our relationship with the Lord and how and what we think of the Holy Spirit.

I am learning how to turn everything completely over to the Holy Spirit. This is a process and is not done automatically, especially since I've been trying to run things all these years. Yet, when I stop to think about someone else being responsible for my life, my brain just seems to stop moving and stay on that point. I believe it is because it's such a serious thing to do. If I turn my life completely over to the Holy Spirit, this means that I am not going to try to run anything. This means that I trust Him completely. This means that I pray, turn it completely over and wait on Him. Now, that's definitely a new concept for me. Is it one I can do? Most definitely. This turning over involved complete obedience (another thing we're working on). All this is tied into my relationship with the Lord. Every aspect of my life must be yielded to Him. This even includes thoughts, actions, desires, words, etc.

As my health challenges arose, I found myself often sitting in a quiet room (be it in the hospital or home) and just waiting to hear from the Lord. I would turn my thoughts and cares over to him and wait for His response. I found I had a peace that I still cannot describe. It was a peace that enabled me to just sit on the bed, in a chair, look out the window and not worry. I observed what was happening around me but did not worry about anything. This peace is beyond all understanding, just as the Word says it would be. I definitely counted that as joy. There is something about not worrying about anything that is indescribeable. I found that once that settles in, really settles in, it continues. It makes the next challenge easier to get through because of the peace that is known, believed and felt. I'm loving this heightened releationship with the Lord.

This is just another way of counting joy in my life. To wake up and be able to do what I do is always reason for joy. To have sense enough to recognize it, is reason for joy. I have friends who have died lately or have had major surgery or other events occur in their life. I look at them and pray they have counted it all joy. I have certainly counted it joy for them.

Do you count it all joy, even in the bad times? Praising the Lord while in the valley will often bring you up out of the valley. Praising Him while going through and sitting back, turning it all over to Him and waiting on Him is reason to count it all joy. His promises are always kept. I love Him so much. And, I love you, too!

Just counting what He has done in our lives is reason to count it all joy. Praise God from whom all blessing flow.

Wait, Don't Give Up!!

2010-01-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

Today I thought about possibly giving up. I thought about how some things in my life are not going the way I wish they were. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I am not really hearing the Lord's voice. I thought about the fact that I am His child, one of His sheep, and His sheep DO know His voice. So, why was I feeling like I am not hearing Him?

I did feel the need to question God, so I asked Him why others seems to prosper who are doing the same thing I am doing but I am not. I had to ask Him why, since I am willing to work hard and do, are things not as far along as I think they should be?

I had to dig down inside to the "honest" area of my soul and spirit. I had to come clean with myself (because I'm certainly NOT fooling God). I had to honestly say that I need to get myself together. Am I allowing the "things in life" that I want to overshadow the Lord and His place in my life? I could not just answer, "No" so quickly. When I looked back over the past few days, I could see where I moved Him to second place, at a minimum.

How could I allow this to happen? I was studying my Bible, praying, being faithful to Him......but then I let life get in the way and started working very on the life issues and events, forgetting about God. Forgive me, Lord. Here I am doing it again. When am I going to stop this? Why have I fallen back into this state?

Just when I was ready to give up and throw in the towel, I read a devotional that talked about giving up. It came from I Kings 19 and was dealing with Eliajah and how he wanted to give up. The devotion blessed me so much but it was a statement at the bottom of the page that caught my attention. The statement read, "When you're working for Jesus, it's always too soon to quit." In my life, the thing I am working on so hard was given to me by the Lord and I dedicated it and gave it back to Him and always acknowledge that it's His and not mine. Yet, I was going to give up on it. This is His and I cannot give up. He will see it through. He will bless everything to progress in His timing. He will take care of it; He's able.

Thank You, Lord, for taking care of my thinking that was getting out of hand again. Thank You for pointing me to something that would bless me. Thank You for not giving up on me. Thank You for always being with me, always being at work around me and always asking and waiting for me to join You where You're at work around me. Open my spiritual mind, heart and soul to Your will. Remove life's clutter so I can hear You clearly.

Whatever it is, whatever it is, don't give up! Keep on working for the Lord and it will come to pass.

One Step at a Time

2009-12-27T20:12:00.000-08:00

Today, I took another step. I took a step up. In all my years, it seems I've always tried to take at least two steps at a time to ry to make it to my destination. In doing so, I found I have become winded, had blurre vision when I reached my destination and sometimes forgot why my mission.

Slowing down has been something I always thought I could do on my own but the Lord God Almighty had to show me that I wasn't doing it right. He had to knock my flat on my back to really get my attention and to be able to show me that I need only to take one step at atime.

WIthin the recent months, I have been humbled more. I have found that my health was not where I thought it was and it was needing to be dealth with quickly. I have found that some people in my life in 2009 are not/will not go into 2010 in my life (this was very difficult to come to grips with). I have found there really is no need to rush through life to try to reach certain areas that have not been completed and made ready for the new events.

If I just learn to take one step at a time, this enables me to be able to firmly plant my feet on one step before trying to do a balancing act and trying to have my feet in two places at one time. God has no rush timing; only humans do that.

In 2010, I want to be sure my steps are with the Lord. I want to be sure I'm not trying either consciously or unconsciously to rush Him and His timing or my own. I want to be more focused and set realistic goals. I want to see new potential and growth spiritually, physically, financially, relationally, mentally and any other way the Lord would have it.

There is something stirring up within me that I cannot fully explain. I just know that it makes me excited. I know that it makes me happy and I know that it will help me make it through. I know it is the Lord and I know it is Him working on and in me. But, I don't know fully what it all means. I know what I believe and I believe that if I just take it one step at at time, He is right here with me, leading an guiding me, helping me, comforting me.

Some big changes are coming into my life in 2010. Some big changes are coming into just about everyone's life in 2010. I don't mean to sound cliche'. That's just life. However, I am excited about becoming focused, more dependent and trusting on the Lord and followig Him, one step at a time.

Praying in TImes Like These

2009-10-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote but today seems like a day I need to put something on the blog. I love to blog but just have not kept up with it like I want to but hope to do better in this area.

On my heart today is the fact that we need to be praying more than ever in times like these. If anyone feels that all is well with them not, I always say, "Just keep living." Latelly, my heart has been aching over news I have received regarding my health (which I am happy to say is definitely improving by God's grace) and news from friends who are going through now. There used to be a time when news regarding friends would not stay on my heart like it does now and I'm so grateful for the change. I found myself praying as I awoke this morning for my friends. They hurt, so I hurt. I want the world to be right for them and good; however, I do realize the enemy is very busy and trying to do all he can to shake up the Church.

Knowing, remembering and having the Word of God buried so deeply in our hearts is essential at this time. I do know that a lot of people feel we have plenty of time but with the passing of each second, time is winding down.

I am studying from a great book entitled, "Experiencing the Holy Spirit" and know that it's about the relationship we are supposed to have with the Holy Spirit. That's how we will make it through. That's how I am able to pray for my friends. That's how I realize the wonder-working power of the Holy Spirit and the power which He has given me.

I have never really taken this "power" thing seriously until now. To FINALLY realize what the Lord has been telling me all these years regarding the power within me through the Holy Spirit is not settling in my mind and heart seriously. It's not about looking at anyone but the Holy Spirit. It's about believing in Him and no one else. It's about really knowing and doing His will. To have this comes with the requirement that we pray. Who would NOT want to pray in times like these? Who would not ever utter at least a "Thank You, Jesus" now?

Now, when we pray, we must know that our prayers are heard and have power behind them. We cannot be praying those weak, meaningless prayers anymore. This is serious. Prayer time is first listening to God and then talking with Him. The most effective way to communicate with anyone is to do effective listening. Just being able to sit in our (that's what I call where I live with the Lord) apartment, be silent, look around, feel the presence of the Holy Spiritt and hear His voice is so mind blowing for me. I love hearing Him call my name. I love hearing Him say He wants to spend time with me. I love longing for Him. I love sharing with Him. I love getting direction from Him.

Fortunately, some of my friends (the real ones) are experiencing great miracles and blessing from the Lord. Experiencing the Holy Spirit asked the students to note the signs and wonders that God has been doing around them. To just think of signs, womders and miracles for myself would be selfish. So, I rejoice in knowing that I have friends who are receiving tremendous blessings now. Praise the Lord for this.

I love the Lord so much. I want to walk with Him and talk. I want to sit on my couch with Him. I want to prepare my dinner (when I cook) with Him. I want to enjoy my quiet time with Him. I want to driving in the car with Him. Daily, my desire to be with Him and get more involved in our relationship growns. This is what is enabling me to want to pray for my friends in times like these (and myself). This relationship, which is like no other I have ever experienced, makes me want to do things I have never done before.

I'm going to keep praying. I'm going to keep having the burden of my friends on my heart and talking to the Holy Spirit about them. I'm going to keep rejoicing over the victories and blessings of my other friends.

I close this blog with my gratitude journal for this day: for being a child of God, family, for my health and strength, activity of all my limbs, in my right mind, basic needs being met, some extras provided, fellowship with saints of God, true friends, living in a country where I enjoy freedom, being able to attend church freely, FOR LIFE, improved readings on my Immune System, a growing business. Please have a wonderful, Christ-centered day.

Spending My Time Wisely

2009-09-19T06:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been told that you need to slow down and relax? I was told that last week when I was in the hospital by my doctor. I was told that I needed to rest. While I was thinking about this, it hit me that I really did need to rest. I had been doing like everyone else running here and there and meeting myself in the process.

This week was spent quietly, once I was released from the hospital. I was tired from life and also from being in the hospital. I had worn myself down so far and was so sick that I had forgotten what feeling good really feels like. Once I realized that what I was feeling was feeling good, I was so excited that I could hardly rest or sleep. It feels real good to feel good.

During this time, I spent almost all day everyday talking with the Lord. I spent, and am still spending, a lot of time thanking Him for sparing my life and giving me another chance to live and strengthen my relationship with Him. What a glorious feeling!!! I take this time seriously and know I am coming through this in a different manner. I know my mind has changed about a lot of things and the way in which I will be approaching them. I know what is important to me (God first) and I know what is NOT important to me (the opinion of others). I know I have to, with the help of the Holy Spirit, take care of me first, not others. I thought I was free from this before but now realize that I am really free. I love it.

So, if you're still running here and there and meeting yourself in the process, STOP, slow down, talk with God. He'll get you straightened out. Have a SERIOUS talk with Him and you'll be blessed.

Have a great day in the Lord.

Deliverance and Release

2009-08-14T07:47:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago, I attended our Women's Retreat. What a wonderful experience; one I will never forget. All the presenters were wonderful.

What got me the most was what I experienced there and since I have been home. This Retreat was a Deliverance Retreat and I expecting deliverance. I wasn't going for any other reason. I have been dealing with life and all it's issues. like everyone else, and I had had enough. I was ready to burst!! I needed to get there and I needed the deliverance that was there.

I had been to retreats in the past. experienced that "high" feeling while there but lost it by the time Monday morning rolled around. But, not this time. This was different.

The Lord has been with me and dealing with this part of my life since I stepped onto the ground at the Retreat. There are things that were bothering me so much that I was experiencing chest pressure (and that was from just working with the Christians!!). I'm not sure why we can't just go to church, worship and praise the Lord and love each other as we are supposed to do. Church does not look like church anymore - it's looks like a corporation with people acting like those in the world who are not yet saved. This has been a tremendously stressful part of my life. So, I knew that this had to be dealt with but could only be dealt with if I allowed the Lord to clear it up for me. I'm so happy to say He has.

Deliverance is freeing. Deliverance is peaceful. Deliverance is refreshing. Deliverance makes you happy. Deliverance removes the stress. Deliverance helps you see clearer. Those things or individuals who were causing me so much pain, don't have that position anymore. The Lord has delivered me from that. How FREEING!!!

Learning about how the Holy Spirit works (we always think we already know everything about Him) was just one of the great blessings I received at the Retreat. The Holy Spirit is always with me and is here for me. I have had more conversations with Him since the Retreat than I probably did prior to the Retreat. Sometimes we just need to get away with some sisters (or brothers if you are a man), take the Holy Spirit with you, just be so happy to be with those you are with, learn to love them unconditionally and receive all the blessings that come with that process. How wonderful I have been feeling.

I am speaking positive things over my life, not negative things. I am speaking with expectation, not defeat. I am walking with the Holy Spirit, not the enemy. Deliverance is a wonderful thing that has happened in my life. I look forward to all the other things the Lord will be doing with me and my life.

If Only the Maid Would Come Today

2009-07-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

As I look around my place, I see so much work that has to be done today. I have papers that have papers on top of them and those papers have other papers on top of them. All this has been allowed to build up because I have been busy taking care of everyone but myself. So, today, I'm going to take care of me. I ran myself down so much that I became dehydrated last Friday which was definitely scarey because it came on me suddenly - no warning.

No matter how much I tell everyone else to take good care of themselves. I neglected to listen to my own advice, especially being sure to eat right and drink plenty water. Needless to say, I'm eating several times a day and drinking water like it's going out of style.

We have to learn to take care of ourselves, if we want to be around to do those things we think we're here to do. Don't neglect yourself for others. Remember. you're no good to them if you're no good to yourself.

I Think I Want to Laugh

2009-06-19T21:53:00.000-07:00

A very dear friend of mine told me that she just wanted to laugh, she needs to laugh, it will help her. I thought about laughter and realized she is right. Laughter does help us. It can remove tears, angry thoughts, heartache, a very sad looking face and so on.

Laughter has been given the distinction of being the best medicine and there is a lot of truth to that. It's like have a gigantic wave of cleaning solution that comes over us and washes out whatever is bothering (at least for those moments). It can also be recalled by our brains for some time after the initial flood of laughs. It's good to laugh. It's enriching to laugh. It's painless (unless you've had abdominal surgery) to laugh. It's a positive thing to do.

Whenever I've been down and have felt as though I have been down for a while, laughing seems to somehow come into my life and clears out the ugliness of life that has occurred. Laughing uses fewer facial muscles than a frown. Listening to a baby or young child laugh who is being tickled or played with is a sound that warms me. The amount of joy they have in them is something I wish to recapture. Listen to them laugh the next time you're around them. It will invade your being and you'll find yourself laughing right along with them. Then, later that evening, you will recall the laughter of that child and find yourself turning up both sides of your mouth and seeing a smile on your face.

We should make it a requirement of our days - to laugh. Maybe we should begin and end our days with laughter. Laughter can save a relationship; laughter can save a broken heart; laughter can save a person.

So, come one, laugh, laugh, laugh. If it is too difficult to laugh at this moment, start by smiling and keep smiling. Pretty soon, you will find your heart is smiling. Please smile, please laugh.

This is written with you in mind, Smooches. Keep smiling your beautiful smile. Then, let out a great big laugh so that your beautiful face will light up the room and the hearts of anyone who is around you. Keep smiling and laughing. Don't depend on anyone to make you smile or laugh. Do it on your own. Keep that beautiful smile on your face and that terrific heartfelt laugh in your inward being. You are encouraging me to be a better person through laughter. That's special. I love you.

Still Grateful

2009-06-05T23:07:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to put some things on here that listed my gratitude. I'm grateful for life today. I'm grateful for the absolutely beautiful, cool day we had in Arizona. I'm grateful for work I accomplished that I had been putting off. I'm grateful for friends. I'm grateful for family. I 'm grateful for laughter. I'm grateful for resources. I'm grateful for the ability to think and do. I'm grateful for all my senses working properly. I'm grateful for God's amazing grace and mercy. I'm grateful for work. I'm grateful for a positive expectancy outlook. I'm grateful for learning opportunities. I'm grateful for all the 30 students in my summer class. I'm grateful that I know I should be grateful.

I'm grateful for being able to connect with old friends and make new ones. I'm grateful for bills being paid. I'm grateful for the way being made out of no way. I'm grateful for nightfall so I can get some sleep. Good night and have a blessed evening.

Expectancy or Expectations

2009-05-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

Well, you know I've told you that I'm reading this book titled, "The Shack". I find it extremely interesting and thought-provoking. The other day, I was reading a passage and it struck me. It had to do with expectancy and expectations. In a dialogue between two of the MAIN characters, it was stated, "Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment, and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value."

The author went on to write, "The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the desired result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations."

This particular chapter went on to deal with the difference between expectancy and expectations. With expectancy it's different. For instance, in a friendship there would be an expectancy that exists. When two people see each other or are apart, there is an expectancy of being together, laughing, talking, etc. That expectancy, the author says, has no concrete definition. Issues arise when we have expectations we put on others. Suddenly the dynamics of the relationship change. People are now expected to perform in a way that meets the expectations of others.

I have been thinking about this a lot. It has caused me to re-examine my thinking on my interactions with others. I am now leaning heavily towards the expectancy way, rather than expectations because I see what it has done to relationships I might have or had. I see how I allowed, through my own expectations, relationships to be stopped. Now, I know there might be some that need to be stopped, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the ones that are really designed to last. I saw how I became disappointed, angered, hurt, etc., because I had expectations of others. When I started to think of my interaction with them as one of expectancy, I'm doing a whole lot better. Now, when I see them, I have an expactancy to be happy seeing them, laugh, talk, pray, sing, or whatever with them, rather than them having to be a certain way towards me. This is really helping me, even if it's not helping anyone else.

Some relationships I was just tired of because of the way I perceived others act were redefined and now I am free and that feels good. I realize I had myself bound up in the relationships and had my own expectations on them that no one else was following. They were rules I had set up for them to follow to satisfy me and might not have told the other person about them. What an exhilariting feeling!!! It's so good to be free of that.

How do you look at relationships? Do you have expectations or an expectancy?

On this Memorial Day Weekend, please remember those who have and are fighting for us and have given even their own lives so we can be where we are at this time.

I'm grateful for being set free in my thinking regarding relationships. I am grateful for all our fallen and living soldiers who have given unselfishly of themselves for me. I am grateful for family and friends. I am grateful for this rather quiet, relaxing day. I am grateful for another day of having full use of my limbs and all my senses being in tact. I'm grateful for all the blessings of the day from the Lord. I am so grateful that I have Jesus in my life. I am grateful for quiettime.

Here He Comes in the Nick of Time

2009-05-18T17:08:00.001-07:00

Today, I was having a pity party that I was able to mask in front of friends. I really felt very sorry for me. There are things going on in my life that are upsetting at this particular point in time.

In reading the book, "The Shack" (you all really must read it so we can talk), the author reminds us (just as the Bible always has) that we have to really believe that God is who God says He is and we really do have to throw out man's way of thinking when it comes to God. Man's representation of God is somewhat distorted. We have made God look like us, rather than the other way around (I digress).

As I am learning to re-train my brain and recognize God for being God, I remembered what the passage in the book said and it brought me around. Then, I went on with my daily chores, accomplishing much, only to discover that He is STILL here with me and STILL looking out after me. In the nick of time, He showed Himself in the midst of what was going on.

He allowed me to even take time out to cry one of those real good hard cries. This cry was for joy and seeing Him and His help manifested in my life. I don't know how or what He does it; He just does because that's just what God does. The relief I felt had to strongly suppress a scream that I wanted to let out. The thought of the Lord taking time to help me messes with my mind. I know He said He would but I'm still blown away by Him.

Life is wonderful, no matter what the day brings. Life is wonderful because of Who He is. This is one relationship that I want to work on to grow deeper and close in. This is the one I know will last.

I'm so grateful for a loving God. I'm so grateful that I am not alone in my struggles. I'm grateful that I need only to call on Him and He will let me know He is with me. I'm grateful for all of today's blessings. I'm grateful for friends who REALLY love me and that I REALLY love closely. I'm grateful for sunshine and air conditioning. I grateful for work.

My Mom and Giving Thanks

2009-05-09T16:52:00.000-07:00

If she had lived, on June 24th my mother would have been 90 years old. She did not make it physically to 90 but she continues to live in my heart and thoughts.

When I was growing up, I thought there were days when Mama was the meanest woman God had ever created. She spanked me when I did something wrong, she made me do my homework until it was correct, she grounded me when my grades were below HER expectations (even though I always had a GOOD explanation for the ones I received), she had in imposed curfew that NEVER bent, she saw to it that I had what I needed but not always what I wanted, she told me I was not going to waste food she worked so hard to get (even though I felt my daddy had contributed to the food budget so that didn't count). Those days were the ones in which I had the "silent scream" going on inside me and I just wanted to change parents (at least moms) for that short while. Like most children, I saw absolutely no good reason for her to do or say what she was doing or saying. Afterall, I was just trying to be a child, not an adult!!

Well, she, like most moms, was correct. All those lectures, instructions on living a correct life, growing up good, etc., paid off. Now, I actually miss hearing her say any of them to me. I MISS MY MOM! Sometimes, I will look up in church or at the store and see a woman going by me who looks very similar to my mom or could almost be a "dead ringer" (pardon the pun) for her. I will watch these ladies walk or smile or their hand gestures and see some of Mama's in them. Even their hair will be salt and pepper like Mama's and worn exactly the way she wore hers. I used to wonder if this was God's way of sending her back down here and letting me see her but I know now that's not true. But, I do see "her" in others.

I also see some of her traits in me. I laugh like I remember hearing her laugh. I sit on my cough the way I used to see her sit on her. I have hand gestures like hers. Sometimes, I even cough like her. I guess she's just in me and I thank God for that.

I was not the greatest mom (just ask my children). There are many things I am sorry for that they did not get from me but I'm grateful for all that the Lord blessed me to give them. I learned through raising my own children that a child really does NOT know the heartache of a mother. The child really does not know the number of days or times a mother cries for her children. A child really does not know the sacrifices of a mother - UNTIL THEY BECOME A PARENT!! Reality has set in for me. Fortunately, it set in before my mother died and my heart was overwhelmed when that reality hit. I got to see all the blood, sweat and tears she had over me. I was soooooooooooooooo grateful and overwhelmed when that reality set in. My one regret is that I never told her, "Thank You" and now it is too late.

Lord, this day I'm so grateful for the mother YOU gave me. I'm grateful for all the life lessons she taught me and walked me through. I'm grateful for all the things she did for me, whether I know about them or not. I'm grateful for the sacrifices she made just for me. I'm grateful for the times she called me and needed me to do something for her. I'm grateful for her wanting to cook me my favorite Thanksgiving meal (the last one she would have) when I visited her in Indiana. She was ill but did not say a thing to me about it. Her desire was to cook all that food for me. She wanted me to take some of it home with me but there was no way I was going to be able to take it on the plane. I pray she really did understand and have hurt feelings behind that. Sometimes I want to just kick myself for not taking some of it but it's now too late.

Don't let this Mother's Day go by without saying, "Thank You" to your mother. If you are a parent, you KNOW she deserves it!! Don't let it be too late for you. Celebrate you mom this Mother's Day!! Happy Mother's Day to all you fabulous moms!

Sometimes You Have to Do It All By Yourself

2009-05-04T22:44:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, my pastor preached a sermon entitled, "Sometimes You Have to Do It All By Yourself." The title alone is powerful and thought-provoking.

As he was preaching, I thought about the number of times I have had to go it alone. In the Scripture reading that went with the message (II Samuel 23:8-12) he mentioned the three men noted in the passage and the circumstances each encountered and how they found themself fighting the enemy alone. Yet, at the end of the reading of each of the three men in David's army, the Scripture said the Lord brought about a victory.

When I have had to go it alone in life, I, like you, have taken note of how hard it was, how sometimes I was so tired of being in the fight that I was worn out and had thought of quitting. But, I'm still here and I see that the Lord brought about a victory.

Sometimes our family and friends might run out on us but we're not alone. Sometimes we run out of strength but then we get a "second wind". Isn't life great? Just think of getting that "second wind", that victory. What a blessing. This means that this is another thing to be grateful for.

I'm grateful for battles won, always have the Lord with me, having a great relaxing day, accomplishing most of the things I set out to accomplish, developing plans for accomplishing other things I need to get done, family and friends, all the blessings of the Lord, emails that made me laugh, my quitetime this morning, my senses that are working properly. Thank You, Lord.

New Day, New Opportunities to Refocus and Be Grateful

2009-05-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

I'm so grateful for a new day because this new day brings opportunities to refocus on those things that are positive and can help to change me mentally, spiritually and emotionally. It's so easy to get caught up on what might be going in a direction other than the one I would like. However, I am trying my best to continue to think on those things that are positive, those things for which I'm grateful.

I do believe my thinking can change my outcomes and bring about change. It's not an easy thing to do but I keep at the task so I can reap rewards.

I am not trying to fool myself or anyone else. Yes, these times are tough but they do not have to dictate the way everything will always be in our lives. Yes, prayer, much prayer, coupled with faith, does help. I feel within myself that things are going to get better for us.

This new day offers us the opportunity to be grateful not only for those things we had yesterday and before but to be grateful for what we are enjoying now. Each day gives us new things for which to be grateful. I would challenge you to see what new things you are grateful today that you were not grateful for yesterday. Each day there should be an effort to being grateful for new things (not forgetting those old things). We are offered so much each day. There is no certain number of grateful items on our list, just list them. This is a part of re-focusing our thoughts to look at the new things in life that we are given.

In my being granted a new day and opportunities to refocus, today, I'm grateful for traveling grace, laughter with friends, completed projects, food to eat, understanding loved ones, things that are not stopped because of others, opportunities that are offered for tomorrow to learn from and grow, trials and tribulations, ability to return home after working out of the house, the quietness of my home, opportunities to reorganize my home.

Have you started your list? What did you come up with? I wish you a day full of new opportunities and new things for which to be grateful.

Do I Need or Want It?

2009-03-23T19:00:00.001-07:00

Nowadays with this economy, I have had to take a painful look (and it still hurts) at my needs versus my wants. I want to move into a larger place. I want a new car. I want.....Having to look at my life is good. I realize that there is selfishness, sometimes greed and often just pure enjoyment.

However, I have also re-evaluated the needs. I am looking at any adjustments that can be made anywhere in my life, also another painful task at times. I have come to realize that if I woud just stop procrastinating and organize a few things, I will be better off.

I have set a goal, for instance, to organize my bedroom. I have set that goal many times and have yet to complete it; however, this week, I want to begin taking the first stabs at it. So, I'll start with the closet and throw out things not needed, used or wanted. Once I take that first step, I'll feel better and probably continue tackling the job. I can then move on after that.

I believe that since I have not organized one thing yet that I cannot think properly or like I want to so this adds some pressure or reasoning to doing the organization. Wish me well.

I also need to read more, look at television a whole lot less (I find that sometimes I feel depressed after looking at the news) and maybe just spending some more quiettime with myself and God. I have a lot of words I have been saying to Him and probably would do well to just sit and be quiet and hear Him. So, since I feel to "out of whack", I'm going to do that.

Needs versus wants. It is something we all probably need to think about.

A Day of Observance

2009-03-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

Today is just going to be a relazing and observing day. This morning, I went to the store early to try to beat the rush of the crowd since this is Spring Break for a lot of schools. As I left my apartment, I noticed the beauty of the day. I actually think I spelled flowers (or something blooming). The birds were singing, as they always do because they do not have a care in this world). The sun is shining, as it does almost everyday in Arizona. The streets seemed unusually quiet as I was driving although there were a lot of cars on the road.

This is Spring Break. This means I am taking a BREAK from a lot of things. All the other weeks I am rushing around doing many things in a day that I never thought I would do and often lose track of what I really want to do. So, I'm taking a break today. I won't even cook. I will just warm something up to eat.

One of my concerns is that my home needs reorganization (cleaned out). I believe that once I organize even my bedroom, I will be able to think clearer. That's because it has been on my mind to organize it for over a year and I often feel like there is just too much "stuff" in the bedroom to think clearly (that's where I do a lot of thinking and working). So, my ONE goal for this week is to organize my bedroom, even if it takes me all week. But today, I RELAX!!

What needs to be organized in your life? Is it a room? Is it a relationship? What? Make an attempt to get organized. You do not have to do it all in one day. Take some time to do it. Enjoy what you're doing. Remember, if you have not used it in six months, get rid of it (or them) - hahaha!

Have a Christ-centered day.

Be a Miracle

2009-03-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

Recently, I heard someone say, "If you want a miracle, be a miracle." In this time of loss of jobs, money, homes, stability we once knew, etc., I have often said we need a miracle now. So, when I heard this phrase, I applied it to myself.

Do I need a miracle now? Of course I do. Do I know how to be a miracle? Of course I don't. This has caused me to do a lot of thinking on this thing of being a miracle. How can I be a miracle? Can I be a miracle to someone else by doing something from my heart for them? Can I be a miracle by saying something special to someone? What do I need to do to be a miracle?

Helping someone else without expecting something back can often be a miracle for others. This week, my neighbor who was laid off, asked me if he could use my wireless connection so he could look for work online because his cable was out and he did not have money yet to re-connect it. He said it would be reconnected by the end of the week. After about fifteen seconds, I agreed to let him use it. If I were out of work, I know he would try to help me in any way he could. This is what we are supposed to do in this economy and days of "hard to swallow" things that occur. It is something that I, as a Christian, am to do in following the example left by Christ - help others. There is joy in helping others. It helps lift your own spirits to know that even when you do not have much to give, giving something to help others makes you feel so much better.

So, I got my miracle. I had such a great feeling (not an arrogant one) on the inside in being able to do just a small thing for someone else. My miracle was happiness. I realized that I was thinking in the wrong way. Miracles come in all forms and most times are not found in material or monetary things. Miracles are found in your heart. I'm so grateful that I found this answer.

What miracle do you need? Better yet, what miracle can you be?

Another Great Birthday

2009-02-09T15:03:00.000-08:00

Well, on February 5th, I was fortunate enough to add another year to my age. What a great blessing. I am not sure why people want to deny their age but to me it is something to be celebrated. The celebration is not just for one day but should go on for a few days (we deserve it).

I found that in celebrating my birthday I am celebrating life and focusing on something that is positive. It is important to think on those good things in life and not dwell on what we might not think is good. This is just one more thing to add to my list of blessing (an increase in the number of years). When I tried to list all of those blessings, I found I just couldn't list them all because there are more than I can even account for and that's just fine with me.

With this new age, I have embraced it. I find that I do more thinking as I get older. I do more observing than talking. I do more quiet time than in the crowd time. I have done more laughing than crying (although crying is still okay to do). I am so happy with this life. I would not trade it with anyone else.

How do you feel about aging? Do you embrace it or want to run from it (even though you can not escape it)? Let's celebrate life. Let's enjoy each day, even if there are some bumps in the road. I know who created the road so I'm not worried!!!

Looking at What We Do Have

2009-01-27T20:18:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about focusing on the blessings, rather than thinking or worrying about what I do not have. So, I decided to just start being thankful and calling out that which I do have. I was just looking around and speaking and then it got to be that I was calling out things which could not be seen, necessarily.

In my list were those things that were so small, so irrelevant to most people yet large to me. I have the ability to do so many things. I can breathe, walk, blink, move,think, hum a tune in my head, see with both eyes, remember things from my childhood that bring me happiness at the thought of them, care about others, do something to help someone else, teach others so they can increase their knowledge and grow, offer my assistance to others, laugh and make my heart happy and so on and so on. I was absolutely amazed when I started thinking of all the things I could think of. Sometimes the thoughts were coming to me so quickly that it was scary yet fun.

So, try it. Think of what you do have. Do not allow your mind to list anything other than what you do have. See what you come up with.

I found that I had so many things that whatever was missing was not missed. Somehow I just know things are going to work out. What a great feeling!!!

New Year, New Opportunities

2009-01-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! What a tremendous blessing to have been privileged to enter 2009. I am so grateful to have made it to another year. I see opportunities. I see dreams coming true. I see improvements in my personal and professional life. I see good.

The old cliches of putting the past year behind us and starting over don't seem to ring with me. The reason is that there are, in fact, some things that do follow us into the new year. However, it is my prayer and hope that we will be better equipped to deal with them and will have a better handle over those things.

My relationship with God and my family are of the utmost importance to me. A strained relationship is beginning to be healed and I'm grateful for that. So, I consider this year as beginning out on a high note.

I want to make this year count in my life. I want it to be positively significant. I hope yours will be also. Have a great year!!

Knowing Exactly What To Do

2008-10-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

I have been struggling lately to know exactly what I really am supposed to do in this lifetime before I leave this earth. There are many things I have been doing, some of which I was actually called to do, and others that I have been doing. I have been blessed to have a heart for many things. I have been blessed to be in the right place at the right time many times. However, I know that deep within me, that there is something else that I am supposed to either be doing now or do soon.

It is something that is important. This time, I want to get it right. I do not want to go off a feeling. I want to go off pure knowledge. I have taken this time out for blogging to use as some type of journaling time to hope to release those other things that are on my mind to it can be freed up to hear whatever I am supposed to hear. Quietness is beautiful. I do not know what I am to do but I know that it is wonderful, whatever it is. I know that I am excited about doing it and I feel equipped or almost totally equipped to do it. I know that it will bring joy and happiness. That makes me very happy. As I get older, things are really being put into their proper prerpective. As I get older, I see why my grandparents seem to be more relaxed. I know now that they had things in their proper perspectives. That's clarity. That's another thing I desire.

When I discover what it is, I will tell you. I will blog immediately about it (after I give thanks). So, soon I hope to be sharing something GOOD!!!!

Peaceful Days

2008-10-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

I know that if you have lived long enough, you have also felt those days when all you want to do is just sit back or lie dow and exhale one of the biggest breaths you have ever taken. Then, it would be quiettime. I am at that point now.

Helping myself to understand how to properly manage those types of days has taken me a while to be able to do but I think I have finally mastered it. I found it got to the point of reprioritizing my life. I found I really do have to put myself first some of the time. Others cannot occupy that spot all the time.

When I sit down and get quiet, my mind is able to just relax. Things become very clear when I do that, even my schedule. I see it clearly and I can then move things in and out or around. When I do that, I feel so good. I have that issue also with my home. Sometimes I feel like I have made it a clutter and just need to take the time to get it in order.

Taking a look at my priorities is a big thing to me at this age. A lot of things that would ordinarily bother or concern others do not even affect me now.It's not important to me to have designer apparell on my anywhere. It's not important that I own leather, silk, or any of the other expensive fabrics, etc. Life is not about that. I have always said that if I become ill and cannot work or feed myself, not one designer is going to come to my rescue. So, why should I spend my money making them very comfortable while I work hard each day and have to watch how my money is spent. Well................that's just my thought. I am not saying anything against anyone enjoys spending their own money on designer anything. Go for it.

It's just that I have come to realize what is really important in life and I'm sticking with that. I really do enjoy looking at the sky. I really do like cloudy days and rain. I really do like seeing the sunrise and sunset. I really do like the colors of falls leaves (very much) and flowers growing. When I become frazzled, I take in these things. They don't cost anything and can be retained in my memory for many, many years. I'm glad to have straightened out those priorities. What about you?

Take Care of Yourself

2008-09-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

It is so good to be back on the blog. It's been a few days. I want to tell you about my experience over the past weekend.

I attended a conference in Atlanta, Georgia, where the conference centered around cardiovascular disease. At the conference, it was driven home again and again that we need to take care of ourselves. Although the conference was aimed at African Americans, the information can and is applied to everyone.

It is so important to take care of yourself. Everyday you are able to wake up, get up and do things on your own is definitely a blessing. There is a renered drive to get people to pay attention to food labels and learn how to properly read them and apply them to our eating habits. Also, exercising is being stressed more and more. I believe that in these trying times, we all need to do something to help ourselves out. We need to do something to relieve stress and we have to be careful that we do not find ourselves eating into happiness.

Why not make a decision to do just one thing this week that is different and helps your health. Eat some baked chicken, rather than fried. You know the routine so I don't have to put it down here (smile).

I wish each of you good eating and good health.

Unselfish Joy

2008-09-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

Usually when we are happy about accomplishments it is regarding ourselves. Sometimes we have joy in the accomplishments of others but we REALLY enjoy something that pertains to self. Well, this week, two people in my life have made me so proud and happy and full of joy for them.

My friend was accepted to Seminary. This is a much prayed for achievement. Many prayers went up for this and any and all barriers, concerns, doubts, indecisions, etc., were removed. He was accepted and actually was accepted into more than was somewhat anticipated. There was one part of this Seminary that it was not clear or was unsure but he was fully accepted. Abundant blessings, Michael, are placed on you. WHAT A DAY OF REJOICING!!!!

Then, today I received an email from my neice who is a scientist. Her second article (dealing with brain tissue, etc.) was published. What a magnificent accomplishment. Way to go, Kim!!! I'm so proud of her for all her hard work and accomplishments. I guess playing with mice can eventually lead to a publication that informs the world of something newly discovered. I'm so proud!!!

Whether it's my friend or my neice, I have such un-SELF-ish joy today. I'm so happy for them and proud of them.

Continued blessing to both of you. You're both FANTASTIC people!!

Hold On Tightly

2008-08-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

I'm sure hoping you had a blessed week. I certainly did.

Do you realize that we are still here to fulfill our mission in this life? Wow!!! What an awesome activity in life - a mission that has been given us to fulfill. Some people are still trying to figure out what that mission might be, while others are basking in the glow of fulfillment.

I truly believe that we are here until our mission is complete. I do not believe we leave this earth one minute before we are supposed to go. Some missions are short, others take a while. Not knowing when the mission is complete is reason enough for me to hold on tightly.

I have a friend who has breast cancer. Those are such ugly words to us. I saw her Friday and was about to tell her how wonderful she is looking (she really is) and she told me that her doctor informed her of another cancerous area in her lymph nodes. I just wanted to fall down! But, I looked at her face and although she said she felt good but just wanted to feel sappy (or something to that effect) I realized that she was holding on tightly to life. She is such an encouragement to me. I admire her strength as a woman and an administrator. She has knowledge that surpasses the best of them, yet she is very humble about who she is, where she comes from and what she has accomplished. How in the world could this have happened to her? She walks around all the time with a smile on her face, trying to make everyone else feel good. She does not complain.

I see her hold on tightly to her children and the joy they bring her. I see her holding on tightly to the work assigned to her and doing it when she might not feel like doing it. I see her setting up conferences for others at a time when she might just want to take a minute out for herself. I see her holding on tightly because it is somehow bringing her joy.

She makes me want to hold on tightly to all that is precious in this life. She makes me want to hold on tightly when it gets rough during the day and night. She makes me want to hold on tightly when it seems that I am all alone, that no one cares whether I feel good or bad. She makes me want to hold on tightly when the sun shines and when it does not. She makes me want to hold on tightly when I fell like I just cannot get up out of the bed.

Thank you, Sue, for blessing me to see where I need to grown and hold on tightly. Thank you, Sue, for being in my life and fulfilling one of your missions that deals with me. Thank you, Sue, for just being yourself and appreciating everyday and every opportunity. Thank you for not keeping yourself a secret. Thank you for leading by example and showing me how to hold on tightly.

As the song says, "You're simply the best. Better than all the rest". I love you, my friend.

Did You Celebrate?

2008-08-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

Well, how did you do? Did you celebrate? Did you wake up in a celebratory mode the following day? I did and it was great. All day long, I celebrated the good things. If a negative thought tried to enter my head, I would not allow it. It was sooooooooooooooo good!

I attended training to be a hospice volunteer three days last week (24 hours). It was fantastic. This training taught me so much more than I ever knew or thought I knew. Hospice was never an area in which I wanted to work. I always said it took a certain group of special people to be able to work anywhere in the hospice arena. If anyone would have told me that I would want to be a hospice volunteer, I would have said they were crazy. Now, I'm sorry I waited so long.

During this training, towards the end of the last day, our guest presenter who works with the bereavement portion of hospice, had each of us do an exercise. She gave us a small envelop which contained twenty strips of paper, four different colors and each color group had five strips of paper to it. She had us indicate on one color, the five most important material things we have or own. Next, we had to, on a different color, list the five most enjoyable things we do. Then, in another group, we listed the five most important people in our lives, followed by the five things we know for sure in life. Then, we had to take three cleansing breaths. The lights were turned down low and she put on a very slow, relaxing CD and played it while she talked with us. We had to close our eyes as she talked and we allowed to open them only when she told us to.

She took us on a journey of life's end for us. In her statements, she told us that we had discovered a lump on our leg, went to the doctor, had it biopsied and were called back to the doctor's office to talik with the doctor. Of course, this was all done in a much slower, methodical fashion than I am describing here. At intervals, she, our presenter, would tell us when we had to open our eyes and make our selection to remove strips we had written on and how many. She never told us the pile from which we had to make an selections; that was strictly up to us, but we had to make selections. During this journey, we were not given a long period of time to think about what we would throw away; we just had to get it done because she was continuing, just like life. Sometimes we would throw out one, two or three pieces of paper. This was beginning to be harder each time. This exercise was to teach us what it is like for someone who has been placed into hospice and their life is getting closer to ending. There were times when I had discussions with myself and was somewhat confused on what to discard because, afterall, she had told us to write down what was important to us and now she was making me discard some of them. The feelings were overwhelming. Some people in the class cried, some did not. But all of us felt the frustration and some of us remembered loved ones who had died and now felt what they must have been feeling.

This exercise taught me to continue celebrating each and every moment I have in life. I am going to reprioritize things in my life. I going to be learning how to let go of some things (and maybe some people) that I should not be holding onto.

I think everyone ought to be able to go through this exercise in a private setting. To do it online on this blog would take away so much of what is needed. However, I believe we can all do some re-thinking about our lives because the day might come when this will not be an exercise from a class but real life.

At the end of this exercise, we all would up with five strips of paper left. I was amazed when I looked down and all those sheets were gone because I had to get rid of some things quickly. I had a lump in my whole body as I looked at them. Then, I moved my eyes to the right and saw the five strips I had left. My strips left were my faith in God and four people who are the most important to me: my sister, my best friend and my two granddaughters. I promise to continue to celebrate having them in my life everyday. I am so grateful that I know a loving God Who takes care of me and loves me unconditionally. I will celebrate my faith in Him daily.

What would you put on your twenty strips of paper? What would you discard, if you had to get rid of one, two or three strips quickly? What or who would you keep? Remember to celebrate that which is precious to you because you never know when it will either not be around or have to be discarded. CELEBRATE!!

Celebrating All That is Good

2008-08-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

To say that when I look around, I'm blessed is like a cliche' that is sometimes overstated. However, in these trying times, I can truly say that when I look around, I'm blessed. I have decided, today, to celebate all those blessings, rather than ask for anything or complain. What a blessing it is to have been able to see just one more day in my life. What a blessing it is to have been able to bathe myself, comb my hair, walk, talk, think, feed myself and see all day long. Though these may seem like such trivial things to celebrate, I am often reminded of the alternatives.

After years of working in hospitals in the ICUs and see how life can change in an instant, I have known the value of celebrating the appreciation of all that is good! Life still has things we would like to be better or changed but the fact remains that if we are awake now, we need to celebrate that good thing! We certainly did not have to be allowed to see one more day. I know I certainly did not have to be allowed to be able to bathe myself.

Celebrating means that happiness is invovled. Celebrating means that smiles are part of the way appreciation is displayed. Celebrating can be done individually or with others. Today, I choose to be somewhat selfish and celebate alone (you can actually join in with your own celebation). I am so excited to be alive. I'm so excited to be able to have witnessed another day in my life. I am amazed that I have been allowed, by the Lord, to live this long. He did not have to give me these year, but He did and I celebate that. What a powerful, precious gift. How good it is. Celebrate life; celebrate its goodness. Don't dwell on what is missing, out of order, misplaced, broken or gone. Just celebrate what is good for you today. Just celebrate that your good outweighs everything else. Celebrate that you are able, in your mind, recount what is good and celebrate it. What more could you ask for? What more could I ask for? There is absolutely nothing else that could be done that would top the fact that I made it through this day, am still here and still celebrating.

Fill your mind with this positive way of thinking for the rest of your day. Celebrate good things. Only focus on the blessings you are enjoying right now. When you lay down to sleep, before dozing off, remember ALL the good and CELEBRATE IT!

And, most of all, if you are blessed to wake up tomorrow, CELEBRATE ANOTHER GOOD THING!

I pray celebration for you. I pray your thoughts will focus on the God Who is granting these things for you to celebrate. I pray for the most peaceful sleep you have every enjoyed tonight. I pray for another day for you. I pray that your first thought when you wake up tomorrow will be that you have another reason to celebrate. One more good thing has been granted to you - LIFE!!!!

Can You Fix It?

2008-08-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

A friend who lives in Chicago and I were just talking on the telephone. We talk with each other about every two weeks. Usually I call him to check and see how he is feeling and then other times, he will call me if he knows he is in trouble for not calling me back to let me know how he is doing.

During our conversation, we were both saying how our respective health is doing. His eye has been giving him problems, my weight, due to medicine I take, has been bothering me. We both concluded that these are things we will have to accept. He told me his eye will not improve but his vision has not been impacted. In fact, he believes his vision is better. I told him my doctor told me that since I'm taking the medicine I'm taking, my weight will be up and down. I told him that I have come to accept that fact since I cannot change it. He told me he accepts what is going on with his eye because he cannot change that either.

There are some things in life, as you know, that we just cannot fix. We can try to make changes that we hope will affect the outcome but sometimes, that will not even help.

As I get older, I am noticing some changes. Often, change is good. I accept what does change and is good as well as I accept what I cannot change. I have decided that it is more important to enjoy my life. I have made some promises to myself to help me through my days.

I promise to love myself unconditionally.
I promise to take better care of my health.
I promise to always allow quiettime for me each day.
I promise that I will say positive things to myself, even if no one else does.
I promise that I will be true to myself.
I promise that I will not allow anyone to define who I am or what they want me to be.
I promise to be happy within me.
I promise that I will always show up as me and will sometimes show up as the new and improved me.
I promise to work hard and not slack off work.
I promise to always reach for what I dream of doing.
I promise to work towards my goals
I promise to see myself achieving my goals
I promise to always be sure I let others know that I care about them.
I promise to not worry about what I do not have but be excited about what I do have.
I promise to grow daily mentally, emotionally, relationally.
I promise not to worry about the financial happenings of the world but to accept that some things are what they are.
I promise to learn something new everyday.
I promise to be excited about life!

What have you promised yourself? What are you doing to make this life better for you? What are you doing about your happiness? Do you really have to work that hard? Are you chasing the money or are you enjoying life? Things will happen in this life but if you take a moment and have some tea in the afternoon and think only of yourself, you will find that inner peace that dwells within seeking to be able to come out and help you as you go through your days. Let's all try to make more promises to ourselves and take care of self. After all, you only have ONE SELF! God bless you today.

Enjoy Yourself, Respect Others

2008-07-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

This past week, I spent many hours watching a basketball camp that was put on by the Harlem Globetrotters. This camp had over 300 children in it, some in the morning sessions and some in the afternoon session.

My original intent was just to sit in for a couple minutes and then leave but while I was there, what I saw and heard held my attention for the entire week. I was there almost as much as the children attending and I did not mind one bit.

This camp was not intended to be a wild, loosely run camp. It was designed to be a camp that helped all the children who attended to be better people by the end of the camp and equipped with what they needed to continue being successful (or start being successful) in life. It was designed to teach them how to get along with other and to, of course, learn new or better skills about the game of basketball. The playing of basketball was secondary; learning how to enjoy yourself and respect others was first.

Everyday while in their initial circle, the first thing they had to say were the two rules of the camp, "Enjoy yourself and respect others." They spent time talking about them and repeating it everyday so the vision of the camp would be clearly understood and practiced. All week long, I saw this. Of course, there were times when some of the kids did not do what they were told but there were consequence either just for them or the entire camp. The consequence to be "suffered" would be ten to twenty pushups or laps back and forth in the gym. This would soon drive that particular point home and they would rejoin their teammates and continue playing as though nothing had happened.

I watched them as they enjoyed themselves. Each child worked very hard to do what they were told. The one thing that stuck out in my mind was how they persevered but smiled at the end of any particular physicial activity or learning session. They were truly enjoying themselves, even though some parts caused them to struggle. They were sore but came back on the next day and the next day and the next day and completed the entire week in the camp. They had to be patient and wait for others in front of them to do what was required and they had to forget any of their problems and encourage their teammate.

"How do I go through life?", I asked myself. Am I enjoying myself? Am I encouraging others in spite of what might be happening in my life? Am I showing others the respect that is due to them? Watching the children (ages 6 through 16) gave me reason to pause in this day of job layoffs, staff reassignments, high gas prices, higher food prices, more bills than money to pay them. It was hard for some of the youth to do some things required. It was difficult to put one leg over the other, bend over and count and then reverse that. However, they kept trying, they kept doing it and by the end of the week found they could bend more and reach farther than at the beginning. In their continuing to try to go through this portion of life, they found if they just kept trying and enjoyed themselves, while respecting and helping each other, they came out a winner because they were able to focus on something and someone other than themselves.

Am I happy? Most of the time. Do I respect others? Most of the time. Is that good enough? No. This needs to be what happens everyday in my life. Is it possible to do? Yes. It is very possible to enjoy yourself daily. All you have to do is realize that if you are reading this blog or breathing or walking or eating, driving, shopping, talking, you are enjoying yourself. Whenever you speak to someone you encounter, you are respecting others. When you help someone else or sacrifice for others, you are respecting them.

Another question I asked myself was, "Did I take this week to help mask other things that are going on in my life? Did I use this time to ignore things that needed to be addressed? The answer is "YES". Some days, I, like you, have to deal with things that make me want to holler. Many days I have the "silent scream" going on inside me. There are times that I just wish I could fade away from problems and situations. So to crowd out those things that are unpleasant, I occupy myself with other things temporarily. This includes things like watching the basketball camp for one week when I know I need to be working hard on other things. Now that I know that is not possible, I have decided to try to live each day like it is my last day and ENJOY MYSELF AND RESPECT OTHERS!

The children reminded me of a valuable lesson my parent instilled in me. When it is going to stretch me more than I want to be stretched, when I have to keep going because others are encouraging and counting on me, when I ache so much from the pain but I can not complain, I have to keep going and I have to enjoy myself. I have to tell myself to enjoy it because that is is a motivator. Having fun is a great motivator to help people persevere. Showing others that I care about them and have respect for them as people is a great motivator for them. There is a double blessing in enjoying yourself and respecting others.

I want to thank the Globetrotter coaches, Coach Buckets, Coach Wildkat, and Coach Moo Moo (because he likes to drink milk). I want to thank them for not only what they did for the attendees of the camp but all of the adults who sat on the side and watch were able to be blessed with the "circle talks". I want to thank the coaches for being so respectful of the children and caring so much to spend and entire week doing two sessions a day. Thank you, Coaches, for reminding me that I need to enjoy myself and respect others.

In God's Presence

2008-07-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, my pastor asked us to sing the song, "Hush, Hush, Somebody's Calling My Name." We sang it just above a whisper. He then asked the entire congregation to just be quite and get in the presence of God. He said that some of us had just been busy and needed to settle down for a little while.

I closed my eyes. Immediately, I was crying. I could see myself entering a room and the Lord was beckoning me to come and sit on His lap. When I got on His lap, I cried and began to rock myself. He put His arms around me and was just gently patting me and saying, "Shhhhhhhhh." I just kept rocking myself in His arms and He was trying to get me to settle down. I was explaining to the Lord thatI was really tired because I had been doing so much. I told him that I had been going here and there and that there was so much left for me to do..... He continued telling me, "Shhhhhhhhhhhh." It seemed the more I talked, the more I cried and the harder I rocked.

Then, I heard my pastor say that we should just be still, be still. The next thing I knew, my body was perfectly still. I was in the Lord's arms where I felt safe and secure. The Lord told me that He knew all about what was on my mind. He told me everything is going to be alright. I instantly believed it. No doubts.

For a brief moment, I was allowed to hear what was going on in our Sanctuary. I heard a baby cry and it just seemed like everyone in there was praying that the Lord would touch the baby and suddenly the baby stopped crying. There was a silence in the Sanctuary. This stillness was a great time for me. I felt I could just release and relax. The Lord told me again that He knows all about everything on my heart and mind. That was all I needed at that moment. I cried. The silence of the release was overwhelming for and to me. I have not been inwardly touched like that before.

Does this mean that I have totally arrived? By no means but it does mean that another step in the right direction has been taken. Oh, to be in the arms of the Lord and to feel Him "Father" me.

Blessings on you.

Relaxation

2008-07-14T06:50:00.000-07:00

Relaxation. Is that a word that is sometimes foreign to you? Are you the type that is on the go constantly? I am and I need to learn how to relax.

I fill my life with a lot of activities on a daily basis. I find myself asking why. I have had to really think about this. I came to several realizations that I'm sure you already know.

Being really busy with other things means that I will neglect myself.

Being really busy with other things means that I will neglect my home and things that need to be done in it.

Being really busy means that many things are left unsettled that need to be taken care of. Often things get lost in the "shuffle" or "list".

Being really busy means that I teach myself how to care less about me and more about others. This is not a good thing.

Being really busy means that I neglect my time with the Lord. THIS IS DEFINITELY A BAD THING!!

Being really busy means that I realize how difficult it is to change my habits. I say habits because there is absolutely nothing that makes me have the schedules I have established except habit.

I am going to change. I am going to start thinking more of myself. I am going to start taking better care of home, rather than other people's places. I am going to work on my business. It's my bread and butter (literally) so I need to devote a whole lot more time to it.

I'm going to take time for those friendships that mean so much to me. I am going to continue being there for them and hope they are there for me when I need them. If I get myself together, everything else will fall into place. It begins with me taking the first step to renew, re-establish the right relationship with the Lord and grow daily. This is a constant, daily activity that I crowded out of my life on a lot of days but am putting back in and keeping it there.

Do you relax and renew your body and life? If so, let me know how you do it. I'm always willing to learn.

Have a day that is centered around God. Be blessed.

Friends

2008-07-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Friends are important to me. I don't have a lot of them because by it's very definition, most people I know do not fit into that definition. Therefore, I have a lot of associates and acquaintenances. But friends, they're special.

Friends warm my heart. They bring a smile to my face everytime I'm with them. They inspire me. They educate me and they even help me get over those rough spots.

I don't like to spill myself onto them by discussing all my issues but I know that if I ever ask them to just listen to me, they will do it.

Sometimes my heart is so burdened down that I am screaming on the inside. If I hear the voice of my friend, it will calm that scream down. In fact, it often silences it because my friends will say something that I need to hear, something that God is trying to tell me through them. I appreciate them. They are closer to me than most of my family. I thank God for them, and my family, everyday. My prayer is that they really do know how much I love and appreciate them. I am sure that the Lord has let them know.

So, to any of my friends who are reading this, thank you soooooooooo much. You mean the world to me. I love and appreciate you and I hope you know that. I hope that in this lifetime I have somehow blessed you like you have blessed me. I hope that in the lifetime you have felt the appreciate of your friendship. I feel so very special to have a friend like you.